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DR. GANDER 

: OF ■■ 


YOUNGLAND 


BY 

GENERAL BENNETT H.-^YOUNG 

AUTHOR OF ** 

CONFEDERATE WIZARDS OF THE SADDLE. PRE- 
HISTORIC MEN OF KENTUCKY. BATTLE 
OF THE THAMES. BATTLE OF 
BLUE LICK AND OTHER 
WORKS 


Foreword 

By 

IRVIN S. COBB 

Famous American Writer and Humorist 


THE STANDARD PRINTING CO. 


INCORPORATED 
LOUISVILLE. KENTUCKY 



COPYRIGHT 192 1 
BY 

THE STANDARD PRINTING CO. 
INCORPORATED 



APR 21 1922 


O)C!.A659705 


SCHEDULE OF CHAPTER NUMBERS 

Foreword by Irvin S. Cobb 


Chapter. 

Introducing Dr. Gander 5 

1. Dr. Gander Defends His People 7 

II. Dr. Gander’s Sons’ Ingratitude 12 

III. Dr. Gander and Dog Bumps 23 

IV. Ted’s Standing in the Barnyard 29 

V. The Hen That Hatched Goslings 36 

VI. The Wyandotte Rooster 47 

VH. The Wyandotte Hen’s Brood 54 

VHI. Dr. Gander Fights Mammy Sow 61 

IX. Dr. Gander and the Martins 69 

X. Dr. Gander’s Accomplished Son 76 

XL Dr. Gander and the Jersey Cow 81 

XH. Dr. Gander and the Spotted Cat 89 

XIH. Dr. Gander and the Big Black Ddg. ... 94 

XIV. Dr. Gander and the Black Duck. ...... 99 

XV. Dr. Gander and the Pet Pigs 106 

XVI. Dr. Gander and Mr. Guinea 113 

XVH. Dr. Gander and the Town Goslings. . . . 122 

XVHI. Dr. Gander and the Automobile 132 

XIX. Dr. Gander and the Canary Bird 143 

XX. The Trial of Mr. Canary Bird 148 

XXL Dr. Gander’s Barnyard Convention. . . . 156 

XXH. Little Ted’s Death and Burial 163 


ILLUSTRATIONS. 


L 

11 . 

III. 

IV. 
V. 

VI. 

VII. 

VIII. 

IX. 

X. 


General Bennett H. Young of . 

Youngland Frontispiece ^ 


General Young surrounded by blind 
children 

Irvin S. Cobb 

Dr. Gander and His Family 

Little Ted 

The Hen and the Goslings she hatched. . 

The Martins 

Dr. Gander and the Plum Tree 



7 

29 ^" 


361 /"^ 

69 

78 


General Young telling Dr. Gander 
stories to the blind children on the 
front steps of the Blind Asylum. . . 96-97 


Trial of Mr. Canary Bird for the 
murder of his children 


144-14: 


5/ 



GENERAL BENNETT H. YOUNG, SURROUNDED BY THE BLIND CHILDREN 
at the Blind Asylum, of which he was the President, telling them stories of the 

exploits of Doctor Gander. 



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FOREWORD 


T T was characteristic, I think, of 
my good friend General Bennett 
H. Young that in the latter days of 
his lif^ he should write this book. 
The gentle humor, the kindly phil- 
osophy, the genial observation, the in- 
nate understanding of life which was 
so markedly a part of the author, is 
here perpetuated, guised as the say- 
ings and the doings of the dumb things 
this old man loved. To read the book 
is like spending an hour in his com- 
pany. 

Here was a man of manifold and 
diversified gifts. In his youth, wear- 
ing a ragged gray jacket, he rode in 
the column of that great captain of 
Southern cavalry, John Morgan. None 
of Morgan’s raiders came back to 
civil life after the War Between The 
States was over with a more gallant record than came the boy 
Bennett Young. In his maturer years, as a leader at the bar 
of his native state, as an orator conspicuous in a community 
renowned for its orators, as a man of affairs, as a leader in civic 
development, and finally as commander-in-chief of the United 
Confederate Veterans, he enjoyed the esteem of his fellow-men 
and the love of those who knew him. Always and ever, in 
appearance, in manner, in mode of thought and of speech he was 
the typical Kentucky gentleman — simple, courteous, hospitable, 
mightily proud of his state, its traditions, its peculiar institutions 
and its glorious history. No man, perhaps, was better acquaint- 
ed than he with the record of its primitive beginnings; and no 
man wrote better than he of that period and of the men who 
came through the Gap treading the Wilderness Trail of the then 
far Western frontier of America to carve a commonwealth out 
of the tall timber and with the flash of their flintlock squirrel 
rifles to blaze the way for civilization pouring over the Alle- 



IRVIN S. COBB. 



ghanies from the Eastern seaboard. Bennett Young came of 
this pioneering breed. Its blood, transmitted, was his blood; 
and had he 'been born in the eighteenth century instead of the 
nineteenth one well can picture him, in hunter’s jerkin and coon- 
skin cap, moccasins on his feet, journey-cake and deer meat in 
his pouch and the light of adventure in his eye, following behind 
Daniel Boone and Simon Kenton through the Knobs, across the 
rolling bluegrass uplands and down among the riverside cane- 
brakes of Kain-tuck-ee. 

But to many who revered him for the versatile gifts of his 
active mind the fact that in his old age he wrote so charmingly, 
so wisely, and with such a bubbling spirit of wit, of the geese 
and the dogs, the barnyard fowl and the romping puppies at 
his country place of Youngland, will come with surprise for 
them — and pleasure. In this volume are these writings pre- 
served, and than them, I am sure, no more fitting testimonial could 
be set up to the memory of this stalwart American patriot, this 
brave Confederate, this honest citizen of Kentucky. 



T HAVE on my farm near Louisville one who is 
recognized by all of the family as the pet of 
the establishment. By some he is known as “Dr. 
Gander.” Others call him “the old man,” but all con- 
sider him the “Boss of the Ranch.” 

He is a Chinese gander, now about sixteen years 
old. He carries himself with a dignity and grace of 
manner that would fit a king. He makes short work 
of dogs, will fight even a horse, whips the pony, and 
does not hesitate to tackle even a cow in defense of 
his offspring or his rights. He keeps guard around 
the barn all night and plays watchdog with an in- 
telligence and a courage that command admiration. 

He insists on eating out of my hand. He seizes 
my trousers or coat in his bill in a way to show his 
impatience to be fed and insists on his right with a 
firmness that brooks no denial. 

He has learned to watch for me every day. 
Posting himself on a hill near the house, standing 
( 5 ) 


full height, with his head turned a little awry, in 
order that he may fully exercise his acute hearing, 
he awaits my coming. He knows the tramp of my 
horse, the sound of my buggy wheels, and with loud 
and clangorous tones evidences his joy at the arrival 
of his owner and his friend. We have become very 
intimate. He talks to me and I talk to him. He 
follows me down into the grapery or orchard and 
into the field and seems happiest when enjoying 
communion with a human being. He has so im- 
pressed me with his intelligence that I have decided 
to print some of his sayings and describe some of his 
doings so that the world may know how smart a 
goose is. These detailed conversations between Dr. 
Gander and myself that follow are the result of our 
long friendship. 

GENERAL BENNETT H. YOUNG, 
Youngland (Louisville, Ky.) 


CHAPTER I. 

DR. GANDER DEFENDS HIS PEOPLE. 

/^NE day Dr. Gander said to me: “Gen. Young, 
you do not understand how much a goose 
knows. The world seems to think geese are very silly. 
You have doubtless heard the expression ‘silly as a 
goose,’ but this does geese great injustice. Did not 
the geese save Rome by sitting up all night and 
watching for the enemy — then screaming and honk- 
ing to awaken the people so they could run out to 
fight? Did not a goose, in Germany lead a blind 
woman to church, nibble grass in the churchyard 
until the service was concluded and then lead her 
back home? 

“They have done many other very important and 
intelligent things. They give you soft, downy beds, 
they give you easy, restful pillows that soothe you 
to sleep. On the whole, I take it that the goose is a 
very important member of society. I want to tell 
you some things I have observed in the thirteen years 
I have lived here with you. 

“During that period I have reared a large number 
of goslings. My children have gone to Texas, Dela- 
ware, Tennessee, Virginia and North and South 
( 7 ) 


8 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


Carolina, and I am sure in all these places they have 
upheld the reputation of their father, Dr. Gander, of 
Youngland. 

“We have had,” said the Doctor, “some rather 
exciting experiences in the last few days here at 
Youngland. I know you will be sorry to hear,” he 
said, wiping away a tear, “that we have had five 
deaths in our family during the past spring. Mrs. 
Gander and I hatched five little goslings. One was 
killed by the cow, another was run over by the pony, 
the rooster killed one, another died from what I call 
‘infantile paralysis,’ and the other one grew to be a 
splendid young gosling. 

“Foolishly enough, Mrs. Goose and I took this 
gosling to the pond. The truth is, we slipped away 
from the people around the house. We wanted to 
teach our child to swim. We went with him, as he 
walked the quarter of a mile to the pond every day 
through the grass and weeds. We took the short cut 
and did not follow the road. Our hearts were very 
proud of this little fellow. We thought him the most 
promising of our young. Like the last baby with 
people, we thought him the best. As we had only 
the one, we watched over him with the most intense 
solicitude. 

“We swam with him in the pond. Sometimes we 
let him go in by himself. He could glide along as 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


gracefully as a swan. Mrs. Goose and I stood on 
the bank admiring. 

“One day, as we were watching him, we saw our 
child disappear. Only a ripple marked the place 
where he had gone down. We waited and honked 
and called. We did everything a goose could do to 
bring him back. 

“While we watched a big turtle thrust his ugly 
nose out of the water. A terrible fear grew upon us 
that the cruel creature had dragged to the bottom 
of the pond and eaten him. We walked around and 
waited on the bank, hoping against hope, but no 
sound or word ever came back. Weeping bitterly, 
we went back to our sad and desolate home. 

“Soon we concluded, Mrs. Goose and I, to rear 
another family. Mrs. Goose laid eight eggs and we 
hid them away back under the cider press in the barn 
shed. Mrs. Goose was the nest builder. She arranged 
the place where she was going to sit. She pulled 
some feathers out of her breast and lined the nest 
with them. She gathered the straw around her and 
made the coziest nest that a goose ever sat on. She 
laid one white egg, and the second day she laid an- 
other, and so on until she had eight. Then she be- 
gan to sit, remaining on the nest twenty-nine days.” 
I missed her companionship, but I sat outside the 
shed and guarded. When a dog came near, or started 


10 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


toward the nest I darted at him. I nipped him and 
struck him with my wings until all the dogs learned 
it was unsafe to go where Mrs. Goose was. 

“You know, General,’’ said the Doctor, “that we 
gandermen do not sit on the nest. We let our wives 
do that part of the work. It is a tedious task, and 
somehow or other ganders never learned to sit on 
eggs. 

“Once every three days Mrs. Goose would come 
out to take a bath and get something to eat. She 
carefully covered her eggs with the straw and feath- 
ers. She was very careful not to stay away long. If 
the eggs once became cold they would never hatch. 
When she went up to the trough to take a bath I 
stood at the stable door and took good care of the 
nest. Once a dirty little fox terrier slipped in when 
I was drinking over at the trough and he broke one 
of Mrs. Goose’s eggs. I resolved then that should 
not occur again and was never off guard any more. 

One day I heard a gosling hammering on the 
inside of an egg. In a little while he broke it and 
tumbled out. Another and another followed. Mrs. 
Goose called me to see the wonderful event. In about 
eight hours we had seven goslings. 

“They stayed all that day and all the next day 
with Mrs. Goose covering them. You do not know 
how proud I was when I saw two of them thrust 
their heads up through the wing of their mother and 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


11 


look out. When I saw that I raised my head as high 
as I could reach and honked just as loudly as I could. 
I thought it was a great thing for Dr. Gander to have 
children so clever that they could climb up under 
their mother’s wing, put their heads out and look 
at their father. 

“Mrs. Goose knows a good deal about caring for 
goose children. She kept those youngsters more 
than two days in the nest and she did not give them 
anything to eat. On the third day she marched out 
with seven gray goslings. They went over to the 
puddle and sipped a little water. Then the good 
woman of the house gave them some cornbread 
cooked without any salt in it, for, you know, Gen- 
eral, that salt is not good for young geese. She mixed 
it with sand. Soon we marched around and around 
the lot, the proudest father and mother you ever saw. 

“You must recall that afternoon you came home 
and opening the gate let us out into the yard. When 
our goslings saw us eating grass, they began eating 
it, too. We did not let them get very far from us. 

“Little dog ‘Bumps,’ about whom I will tell you 
later, came along. I flew at ‘Bumps’ and catching 
him by the ear I beat him with my wings. He yelped 
and cried for help, but I beat him thoroughly. He 
has not bothered me and my goslings since. 

“The next time I will tell you how we take care 
of our children — how carefully their mother and I 
watch over them. 


CHAPTER II. 

DR. GANDER’S SONS’ INGRATITUDE. 

/^NE day, on my visit to the farm, I observed Dr. 

Gander’s feathers were roughened, his head 
swollen and his eyes partially closed. He followed 
me around, but he looked sad and depressed. Several 
times I asked him if anything was going wrong, but 
he said “No, I am only feeling a little off.” He said 
he had a severe cold and would be all right in a few 
days. Instead of getting better, the Doctor got worse 
until I became quite alarmed at his condition. 

I said to him; “My good friend, don’t you think 
I had better send for a doctor? We cannot afford to 
have anything happen to you. Youngland would not 
be the same if you were gone. You must let me send 
for a physician.” 

“What sort of a physician. General, would you 
send for?” 

“Well, you can have your choice,” I replied. 
“I’ll call my medical man or I’ll call a horse doctor.” 

My goose friend smiled a sickly sort of smile and 
answered: “General, you make me laugh. What 
would a horse doctor know about goose sickness? 
General, please don’t twit me. I don’t think a human 
doctor would be much better.” 


( 12 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


13 


“Ah, Doctor,” said I, “pardon me if I annoy you, 
but I am really alarmed about you, and I won’t be 
comfortable until I do everything in my power to make 
you well.” 

The Doctor thought a while and then said: “My 
dear General, if I am to have medical help, don’t put 
me ofif on a horse doctor. I am your comrade. If I 
have to have a physician, please call one who pre- 
scribes for people and not for horses, cows and dogs. 
If my body was sick I would not mind taking some 
calomel, or cascara, or quinine like you do, but, my 
dear good friend, it is not my body that is ill, it is my 
mind. Doctors can’t help me. You know that soul 
sickness is the worst of all ills, and that’s what is ail- 
ing me now.” 

The Doctor edged a little closer to me. I was sit- 
ting on the bench under the big catalpa tree. He put 
his head on my knee and as he looked iip into my 
face his expression was so sad that, at once, I knew 
he was telling me the truth. I stroked his head and 
neck and said, “Come, friend, let me have the whole 
story.” 

“General,” he said, “I am ashamed to tell you what 
has so grieved me for the past two weeks. I’ve had 
a great burden on my heart — so great that I did not 
feel I could tell anybody in the world.” 


14 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


“You can tell me everything, Doctor,” I said. 
“There are very few troubles for which some remedy 
cannot be found. When we tell our sorrows, Doctor, 
we halve them; when we tell our joys we double 
them. Open your mind, then, and surely I can do 
something to make you your bright self again.” 

“General, if you think you can help me. Til tell 
you the sad, sad story that has made me so sorrow- 
ful. The truth is that I cannot live as things are now 
going on, and, if you cannot help me, I fear I will 
die.” 

“Doctor, do not hide anything from me. Give me 
all the facts. We lawyers live by advising other peo- 
ple, and it’s a very bad state of affairs when we can- 
not help our clients. Doctor, I am so much distressed 
that I cannot wait any longer. You alarm me when 
you say there must be a change or you can’t live. I 
had no idea that the case was so serious. Hurry up 
and let me know the worst.” 

“Well, my good friend, to be honest with you, 
those four boys of mine are giving me all sorts of 
worry. The greatest of all human joys. I’ve heard 
you say, was the love and well-being of your chil- 
dren, and I expect what is true of your folks is also 
true of us geese. Those boys of mine are now as big 
as I am. They don’t weigh as much as I do, but they 
are as tall as I am. They are more active than I and 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


15 


they are turning out to be great fighters. I am six- 
teen years old. That makes me a pretty old goose 
man. They are only nine months old. A gander, 
General, gets his full height at nine months. They 
are beginning to want to fight everything that comes 
around. They attack the chickens and they abuse 
those duck people cruelly. Two of them made an 
onslaught on little Bumps the other day. He bit 
one of them on the leg, but the two of them were too 
much for the little dog and he ran, with them after 
him. He jumped through his hole in the fence and 
got away, else there’s no telling what would have 
happened to him with these two lusty young ganders 
on his back. 

“When I saw this I scolded them quite severely. 
They didn’t like it a little bit. They were very rude 
to me. They said it was not any of my business, and 
if they wanted to beat a dog they were going to do 
it, whether I liked it or not. Then I mentioned the 
chickens and ducks and said I hoped they would not 
treat them badly. This seemed to anger them more 
and more. 

“ ‘Doctor,’ they said, ‘you have been a barnyard 
bully around here for a long time. You whipped the 
big rooster, you fought the sow and black dog, and 
you ran Bumps away from us when we were boy 
goslings. You beat Bumps one day, and you talked 


16 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


pretty hard about these young roosters. We think 
we have as much right to fight as you have, and we 
tell you right now, if we want to fight, we are going 
to do it, and the less said about it the better.’ 

“General, these words cut deep into my heart. 
These young ganders are my own children. I could 
hardly believe my own ears when I heard the hard 
and cruel things they said. 

“The other night one of them flew at me and 
struck me a hard blow on my side, nearly knocking 
me over. The biggest one, who did this, winked at 
his brother as much as if to say, ‘Who is boss now?' 

“Those (two goose girls. General, are nice, lov- 
ing children. They treat me with great kindness and 
respect, but these four boys are breaking my heart. 
The other night they made an attack on me, and 
banged me up terribly. That is why my head is swol- 
len, my eyes closed and my feathers ruffled. I don't 
mind the blows so much. I could stand them, but it 
is the thought that my own children would mistreat 
their parent.” 

“Surely, Doctor,” I said, “you must be mistaken 
about this. Those Gander boys you have treated so 
kindly would not strike you.” 

“Yes, but they have, and what can I do? We 
can't live this way. I am all broken up. I don't want 
to quarrel with my own children, and if we all stay 


DR. GANDER OP YOUNGLAND. 


17 


here they will surely do some great injury. It makes 
me most unhappy.” 

“Doctor, this is a sad story, and I do not wonder 
that you are downhearted. Fll talk it over with the 
manager and Fll see you in a day or so. Bear up, try 
to keep a cool head and you can be certain that Fll 
take good care of my dear friend. Dr. Gander.” 

I told the manager what had occurred and re- 
quested that he keep a sharp lookout and report to 
me what he heard and saw. The next day but one 
he came and said: “General, we had a rumpus out 
here last night. Two of those young ganders jumped 
on the old man, and in the night I heard such flapping 
of wings and outcry that I could not sleep. I got up 
and dressed and went out into the yard. They were 
beating their father most unmercifully. I pulled 
them off and fastened them in the shed keeping them 
there the balance of the night. If we don’t do some- 
thing pretty soon they will kill your old friend.” 

I called the Doctor as loudly as I could, crying, 
“Come on. Doctor; come on, Doctor.” He came from 
down in the cow lot, but he walked very slowly. I 
quickly saw that he had been in a real fight. His 
head was more bruised than ever, his eyes were 
nearly closed, and several of his feathers were broken. 

“Doctor, Doctor,” I said, “what has happened? 
You look as if a cyclone had struck you.” 


18 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


“It is a sad story, General,” he answered. “I 
suspect you had better send me up in the country 
now. You can come up to see me every once in a 
while; but this is no place for me.” 

“Which one of those young fellows was it. Doc- 
tor, that beat you up so?” 

“It was the one with the yellow spot on his 
bill.” 

“Leave this whole affair to me. No man, dog, 
pony, cow or sow can mistreat you and live with me.” 

“Oh, General!” he answered, “I am heartsick, 
really heartsick. Help me out, if you can and 
whatever you do will be the right thing for me.” 

“Good evening, Doctor,” I said, “you will hear 
from me later.” A gleam of joy came from his 
bruised and swollen eye. He said, as plainly as a 
goose could say, “Dear, good man, do all you can 
for Dr. Gander, and please do it quickly.” 

After I left the Doctor I went to the manager 
and said: “This is a bad business about these Gander 
boys beating up our good friend, the Doctor. To- 
night you catch the young Gander with the yellow 
spot on his bill and the one with black legs. Kill 
them both and I’ll eat one and send the other to our 
preacher. You had better do it while the Doctor is 
out in the yard. Drive them into the barnyard, kill 
them and be sure not to let him see you or them.” 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


19 


The manager did as he was told. The young 
ganders made most savory food. We felt a little 
squeamish about eating them, but we did it, all the 
same. 

The next afternoon when I went out the Doctor 
looked very sad. His head was still swollen, his eyes 
not fully open, and his feathers yet ruffled. He was 
very glad to see me. He was watching under the big 
catalpa tree and greeted me most cordially. He at 
once opened the talk and said, “General, a dreadful 
thing has happened. The two boys that fought me 
are gone, and none of us know what has become of 
them.'' 

“Don’t worry about those boys. Doctor. They 
won’t fight you any more; for all you know, they may 
be up in the country where you said I had better send 
you.” 

“Ah, General, I can’t feel that way about it. 
Those were my children and they are gone, and I am 
sad and worried about them.” 

“Doctor,” said I, “those were bad boys. They 
either had to leave or you would. They are gone. If 
I hear anything of them I’ll let you know.” 

This did not satisfy my friend. He kept on talk- 
ing about his boys, and I thought I saw a tear flow 
from his swollen eyes as he begged me to tell him 
what had become of them. I invented the best story 


20 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


I could, but none of my explanations satisfied him; 
the Doctor kept on asking me every day if I had any 
news of his two Gander boys. This thing might 
have gone on a long while, but a new trouble came 
into the Doctor’s life. 

His two surviving sons began to give the Doctor 
more trouble. They seemed to have learned bad les- 
sons from the brothers that had so suddenly disap- 
peared. They started fighting their father. One 
night the manager went out into the lot, upon hear- 
ing a terrible clatter. He found these two young fel- 
lows had the Doctor in a corner of the wagon shed. 
They were striking him with their wings badly beat- 
ing up their proud parent. It was learned they had 
gotten into a row with each other about the young 
goose girl. The Doctor interposed. He lectured 
the boys about fighting, saying they ought to be 
ashamed to act in the way they were carrying on 
before all the geese, ducks and chickens on the place. 

Forgetting their troubles with each other, they 
set on the Doctor, and it was when they had worsted 
him that the manager entered the game. He seized 
each of the young Ganders by the legs and jerked 
them away from the Doctor. This attack scared 
them greatly, and they began to squawk lustily. The 
manager pushed them into a small pen and left them 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


21 


there until morning, when I, as judge, would pass 
sentence on them. 

When I heard the story I was indignant. The 
Doctor was called and asked what he had to say. He 
did not want to say anything, and so I replied, “Doc- 
tor, this is a most serious matter. These young fel- 
lows will have to go. The cook made me promise,” I 
said, “that I would give her one. She has fed them 
every day since they were goslings, and she says she 
wants the big one with yellow on his bill and black 
spots on his legs.” 

“Doctor,” said I, “the cook gets one. He will 
go today. The other I will send out to a friend of 
mine in the country. I won’t kill him because you 
say it will distress you, but he can never get out of 
that pen until the box is ready for his shipment. You 
have been most cruelly treated. I am going to break 
up once for all this practice of your children beating 
their parents. If you want to say ‘good-bye’ to your 
boys go and do it now, for in ten minutes they will 
be in coops on their way to their new homes.” 

The Doctor appeared quite sad. He waddled to 
the pen where the manager was nailing up the coops. 
He called to the two young Ganders in the pen, as he 
used to do when they were goslings. They were 
angry and scared and they did not answer. The 
manager climbed over into the pen and caught the 


22 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


first one to put him into the box. This seemed to 
arouse Doctor. He was ready to help his child that, 
a few hours before, had beaten and wounded him. 
Honking as loudly as he could, he rushed at the man- 
ager striking him on his legs with his big, strong 
wings and trying to help his son escape from the box. 

The other young Gander was caugl^t in the same 
way and the same scene was repeated. I told the 
manager to put the boxes in the wagon and drive 
on away not minding anything the Doctor said or 
did. The wagon rolled away. The Doctor followed 
it to the big catalpa tree, honking as if his heart would 
break. His sons voiced their sorrow in the same way, 
but nobody paid any attention to their cries. They 
never came back. 

It took the Doctor a long while to be cheerful 
again. After some days his eyes became normal, his 
feathers smoothed up, and his swollen head assumed 
its former shape. He has never mentioned the matter 
to me since nor I to him. 

The old Mammy Goose is now sitting again on 
seven eggs. She will hatch three weeks after Easter. 
When more young goslings come and Mrs. Goose 
and the Doctor are occupied lookinsf after them, I 
suspect the Doctor will be himself again. I expect 
him to try to train these new children so they will 
not mistreat their old father when they grow up. 


CHAPTER III. 


DR. GANDER AND DOG BUMPS. 

'C'OR some days I had no conversation with the 
Doctor. A brief absence in the central part of 
Kentucky had prevented my talking with him. 

As I approached the front entrance he was on 
the small eminence, where he w,as accustomed to 
await my appearance. He stood in the forefront of 
his family. Mrs. Mary Goose was seated on the 
ground nibbling contentedly the fresh young crab 
grass which was forcing its way through the blue- 
grass. It was very apparent that the Doctor had 
something on his mind. He was balancing himself 
on one foot. The other was drawn up close to his 
body. His long neck was turned slightly awry and 
his beautiful yellow-rimmed brown eyes had a touch 
of sadness in their glance. 

He came down the terrace to greet me, his loud 
honk showing that he was pleased that I had come. 
I was as glad to see the Doctor as he was to see me, 
and I called out cheerily, “Come on. Doctor, come on, 
and let me hear what is on your mind.” 

“General,” he said, “we’ve had trouble since you 
went way. When you brought out that little white 
( 23 ) 


24 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


snowball of a pup and gave him to the young lady he 
was a beauty. His mistress had given him a bath, 
combed out his hair and tied a blue ribbon around 
his neck. I thought he was the most attractive lit- 
tle dog I had ever seen. He ran around on the porch 
barking, and did not seem to care that he had left 
his mother and his former home. He was ready to 
make friends with his new-found acquaintances. He 
seemed to know, baby pup that he was, that he had 
found a good home and apparently had a peaceful, 
happy life ahead of him. 

“We geese are good-natured. We let the little 
fellow run all around us and we did not hiss at him 
or object to his coming where we were. We got on 
good terms with this woolly youngster and we 
thought that nothing could happen to make us any- 
thing but friends. 

“We saw that Bumps was not a thoroughbred, 
but he was a well-mannered puppy, and nobody ever 
dreamed that some day he might change. 

“He got along with us until he was about nine 
months old. Then he got to be too frisky and im- 
pertinent. He was, as you know. General, a very 
smart little dog. He learned to eat apples and water- 
melon. He would sit on his haunches and wait for a 
piece of red watermelon or a small portion of a peeled 
apple, but his great delight was marshmallows. He 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


25 


would dance the tango and bark and beg in the most 
pleading way for this candy. He was very fastidious, 
and neither sugar, stick candy nor caramels would 
tempt him. He would turn up his nose at them, but 
only show him a marshmallow and he would spring 
up two feet in the air and beg and bark at a great 
rate for the sweet morsel. 

“Sometimes when it was muddy or cold Bumps 
would beg his best friend to let him ride over the 
farm on his shoulder. He would run before his owner 
and bark and get in front of his feet as much as to 
say, ‘Please, Mr. Man, let me get up and ride on your 
shoulder. He would spring up into the man’s arms 
and when lifted around would put his fore feet on 
the top of the gentleman’s hat and his hind feet on his 
shoulders. There was no happier or prouder dog in 
Kentucky when, like a circus-trained animal, he 
would ride on his master’s head. This trick was very 
amusing to us geese. 

“After the goslings came things changed. We 
don’t allow a cat or dog to come near our children; 
so when Bumps came around where the goslings were 
we would stretch our necks and hiss at him. He was 
afraid to get too near and would run away and bark. 
He seemed to think it was fun to scare us and the 
goslings. I made up my mind that the first good op- 
portunity I would teach him a lesson. 


26 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


“One day, General, when you were not around 
my opportunity came. I think if you had been here 
I would not have gone at him so roughly. Out here 
we all know that you are quite fond of this dog, and we 
do not want to do anything that would displease you. 

“Mary Goose and I talked it over and we both 
thought that Bumps would be better if I gave him a 
good licking. We could not afford to have him hurt 
the goslings. 

“You know, General, how you humans always 
think the last baby the most wonderful of all the fam- 
ily. We geese love all our little ones the same. We 
have no favorites, and every fuzzy little gosling is as 
dear to us as our own lives. It vexed us to have these 
little fellows so badly scared. They did nothing to 
disturb Bumps and we decided he must leave them 
alone. 

“Today when we were going from the stable to 
the water trough Bumps rushed out of the shed 
where we were passing. We always march like sol- 
diers. I go in the front, and then come the children, 
and Mrs. Goose brings up the rear. We do this to 
be ready to defend the little ones. 

“As we were proceeding, thus, today. Bumps ran 
over a gosling and hurt him. Goslings are very deli- 
cate when young, and this one could not get up or 
walk. Flapping my wings and half running and 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


27 


half flying I ran at Bumps so fiercely that he could 
not get through the hole in the fence, where he al- 
ways fled from the lot into the yard. He had no 
time to jump through the space before I was on him. 

“Bumps, General, I want you to know, is far from 
being a coward. He is a little bit of a dog, weighing 
only seven and a half pounds, but every night he runs 
down into the fields, out into the orchard and the 
grapery and all over the place in the dark. I hear 
him barking all through the night and he does not let 
any dogs or men come about that he doesn’t attack 
them. He is a brave little watch dog and helps us 
geese take care of your place. He stood up against 
the fence and he started to bite at me. 

“But, General, I was very angry. I caught him 
by his long ears and I walloped him with my wings 
until he yelped and cried for mercy. The housewife 
ran out to help him, but I lammed away and she had 
to take a stick to drive me off. At last she made me 
let him go. He was the saddest looking dog you ever 
saw. He whined for a long while. I suspect his sides 
were sore when I got through with him. Maybe you 
will think it was rather mean for a big gander to at- 
tack a little dog, but you have to teach dogs as you do 
boys to be good, and you know sometimes nothing 
but a whipping will make things go just right. 


28 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


“I believe, General, that after this Bumps will be 
polite to me. He never ran after any more of my 
goslings. I feel sorry for the little fellow and try to 
make friends with him, but he is shy. Now and then 
he barks at me, but he stands a good way off when 
he does this, and as long as he does not come too 
close to the goslings I have nothing to say. 

“But, General, I fear Bumps will never feel quite 
the same to me. Maybe I was wrong to beat him so 
hard. If I thought it would do any good Fd tell him 
that I am sorry for what I did. When you take him 
on your lap, as I often see you do, won’t you please 
tell him that I would like to let bygones be bygones 
and be on good terms with him again? Please, Gen- 
eral, don’t forget this, for I will feel better when I 
know that Bumps knows that I’ve no grudge against 
him and want him to be my friend. Just say to him 
that we have all got to live here together and take 
care of your place at night; say that I’ll watch for 
him some night when it rains very hard so he won’t 
have to go out in the storm. Tell him we geese don’t 
mind the rain; that God made us the best raincoats 
in the world when he put the feathers over our backs. 
You might also tell him that I’ll watch all the rainy 
nights for him, while he goes into the shed and 
sleeps.” 



LITTLE TED 




CHAPTER IV. 

TED’S STANDING IN THE BARNYARD. 

ESPITE number of misunderstandings among 
our farmyard pets, nobody had ever complained 
of Ted, our little dog. He never fought the geese, 
he never ran after the chickens, and never quarreled 
with the ducks. He was so kind and good-natured 
that he was a general favorite. The geese poked out 
their necks when he came about, but they never ran 
after Ted as they ran after Bumps or the Collie. 
The barnyard seemed to have agreed that Ted was a 
good-natured little fellow who could always be 
trusted to do the proper thing. 

Ted had lived with us eight years. When our 
little girl was eight years old she said she wanted a 
dog; so we looked around to get her a puppy. 

One day the word came that a German carpenter 
had died; that he had a small French poodle just nine 
months old. His family, the report said, were going 
to break up housekeeping and wanted a good home 
for the little dog. 

They said Ted was much attached to his master 
and was much grieved when he had died. For many 
( 29 ) 


30 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


clays he went around the house hunting in every 
corner to find him. 

Everybody at our house was not agreed about 
taking the dog. Some said the daughter ought to 
have a dog; some said he would be a nuisance. 
Mammy, who was considered authority on most mat- 
ters, said that she was not going to take care of a dog 
and that he must not be brought to the house. 

The lady who had spoken about the dog brought 
him to my office in a basket. He trotted around in 
the several rooms, looking everybody over and lay 
down by my chair. He wagged his tail, looked up 
into my face and seemed to say, “Please take me 
home with vou, Mr. Lawyer, and I’ll be your little 
dog.” 

We put Ted in the buggy on the seat. He seemed 
greatly delighted to have a ride. He sat looking with 
great interest at the people, the cars and the wagons 
on the street. He appeared delighted with every- 
thing he saw. 

When we got to the house he jumped down on 
the floor of the buggy and sprang down to the pave- 
ment. He looked up at the brown stone front as if 
he had always lived there. He ran up the steps and 
sniffing at the screen door tried to push his way in. 

Plis new mistress ran to the door and took Ted 
in her arms. Mammy came out and said he was “a 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


31 


nice little pup, but she was not going to take care of 
any dog.” When Ted was put down he ran all over 
the library, dining and sitting-rooms. After look- 
ing around he lay down under the chair of his new 
mistress, put his head down between his paws and 
tried to take a nap. Later he stood up, put his paws 
on my knees and begged, as I guessed correctly, for a 
drink. We gave him water and then he walked all 
around the house again and crawling under my chair 
looked over at Mammy as much as to say, ‘T am here 
to stay, and. General, won’t you please tell them that 
they can’t put me out.” His little black eyes were full 
of trust. 

Evidently he had taken me for his master, hav- 
ing already made up his mind that I was his friend. 
I patted him on the head and said, “Little doggie, 
don’t be scared. They shan’t put you out, and we are 
going to keep you to live with us.” 

In a few days’ time every member of the house- 
hold was in love with Ted. He was friendly with 
everyone. Crawling up to mammy, he lay down and 
looked up into her face. Mammy could not resist 
him. She said, “Ted, you are a nice little fellow, and 
I’ll take care of you.” 

Ted had one bad habit; he would run off down 
the street and he never knew enough to come back 
the way he had gone. He usually tried to hunt up 


32 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


some dog acquaintances. He got lost several times 
and messengers were sent in every direction to dis- 
cover where he had gone. We put a collar on him 
and had his name engraved on it, with the street 
number, but Ted, whenever he got a good chance, 
would go prowling away. 

Finally Mammy got to punishing him for his 
truancy. She would put him to bed and keep him 
there all morning. When he would come in the front 
door Mammy would scold him, saying, “Ted, you 
are a bad dog; go right upstairs and stay in bed all 
morning.” 

Poor Ted, with a guilty look on his face, would 
hang his head, put his tail between his legs and 
marching away upstairs, get into the bed that 
Mammy had arranged for him in the corner of the 
nursery. It was not much of a bed, but Ted seemed 
to think it was wholly satisfactory. He soon learned 
to pull over him a quilt that had been given him. 
When sent to bed for running off, he would cover 
up his body, stretch out his neck, put his head be- 
tween his paws and go to sleep. 

Ted, while a good dog, was no coward. If dogs 
of any kind came along the street he would rush out 
barking and attack them fiercely. Several times he 
made a mistake. Big dogs would knock him down 
and bite him, and now and then tear ugly wounds 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


33 


in his neck or sides. He never learned that it was 
not wise to attack dogs bigger than he, and getting 
whipped did not make him afraid to fight. 

When Ted was three years old I went to the 
infirmary for a serious operation and did not get back 
home for six weeks. Every day, I was told, Ted 
hunted all over the house for me. He would go to 
my bed and putting his feet up on the side would 
look over to discover if I was there. He barked many 
times when he saw nobody was in the bed. Then he 
slowly let himself down and continued his hunt over 
the other rooms. 

When I came home nobody in the family was 
gladder to see me than Ted. He rushed out to the 
taxicab and barking all the way up the steps, he licked 
my shoes. He would stop a moment, look up in my 
face and then caper with joy. He would not leave 
my side for a moment. He lay under my chair when 
I was in the house, and for a week he shadowed me 
wherever I went. In the morning he would come 
and rearing up with his paws on the bed would say 
as plainly as a dog could say, “Good master, let me 
get up on the bed.” 

Nobody could resist such pleading. I would take 
him on the bed and he would lie down by my side 
and putting his head on my hand would never move 
until I got up. 


34 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


At six o’clock one summer morning there was a 
racket at the front door. Dr. Gander was much 
excited about something; he was honking in the 
fiercest fashion. All his family were talking and call- 
ing too; it was evident that something very distress- 
ing had occurred. Getting dressed, I hurried down 
to the front door, and there was the Doctor and his 
family gathered around Ted. 

Dr. Gander turned to greet me, saying, “Ted is 
in trouble and he needs you. The interurban car ran 
over him, and I am afraid he is very badly hurt. He 
is down there now on the grass under the big leaning 
tree.” 

Away I ran to the big tree. Dr. Gander followed, 
half flying and half walking. 

There was little Ted stretched out on the grass, 
blood oozing from his mouth; he lay still as death. 

Calling the manager as loudly as I could, I told 
him to hitch up the depot wagon and to take Ted 
to town to the veterinarian. The manager came 
quickly. We put a quilt on the floor of the wagon 
and lifted Ted in. Covering him with another quilt, 
I said, “Drive as hard as you can and tell the 
veterinarian to do the best he can for the little dog.” 

John Horse trotted away as fast as he could, and 
soon Ted was at the infirmary. The doctor felt his 
leg, his ribs, his back and his neck. He told the man- 
ager there were no bone broken, but Ted was badly 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


35 


bruised. They put him in a box stall, made a soft 
bed of fresh shavings, painted some iodine on his 
sides and back and left him to go to sleep. 

It was two days until I could get around to see 
Ted. When I got there he was tied with a long 
string. When he saw me he rushed to the end of 
his string, stood on his hind legs and barked for joy. 
Taking him up in my arms, I patted his head. He 
reached up and licked my cheek. 

After awhile I started to go, but poor Ted barked 
and whined; it looked to me as if tears were stream- 
ing from his eyes. Calling to the veterinarian, I said, 
“Doctor, I cannot leave this little fellow. If he needs 
any medicine, give it to me.” 

Picking Ted up, I placed him on the seat. He 
was overjoyed. He sat as still as a mouse all the 
way out home. When he came in sight of the big 
catalpa tree he barked as loudly as he could. No 
sooner did we stop at the steps than Ted begged, by 
barking, to be lifted out. He rushed across the side 
yard to where Dr. Gander was. They greeted each 
other and then marched back side by side to me. 

Dr. Gander looked very proud when parading 
across the grass. Coming up to my side he said, 
“General, I am very glad to have my little dog friend 
back again. He tells me that the veterinarian was 
very kind to him, and has made him well. I was 
afraid Ted was badly hurt. He tells me he will not 
go on the street car track again.” 


CHAPTER V. 

THE HEN THAT HATCHED GOSLINGS. 

OMING into the yard late one afternoon I heard 
^ a great turmoil. The manager’s wife was 
waving her hands and screaming at the top of her 
voice and now and then stooping down to the ground 
trying to catch something. At first I could not under- 
stand her strange conduct, but in a minute I took in 
the whole situation. 

We had put six goose eggs under a Wyandotte 
hen. She had hatched three downy goslings and 
was a very proud mother. A chicken will take any- 
thing to rear. Geese and ducks won’t take chickens, 
but chickens seem to love young ducks and goslings 
as well as they do chickens, and they make good 
mothers, it matters not what kind of eggs you place 
under them. They will hatch guineas, partridges, 
birds or any kind of egg you put into their nest. 

The hen wanted to sit, and when the man- 
ager’s wife one night put six goose eggs under her 
she did not care even if they were two or three times 
bigger than her own eggs. To her they felt and 
looked like eggs and she was willing to take chances 
with them. She must have known that if she had 

( 36 ) 



THE HEN AND THE GOSLINGS SHE HATCHED. 



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DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


37 


her own eggs under her she ought to have finished 
her job of sitting in twenty-one days, but when the 
twenty-one days had passed and nothing came out of 
them, she put her head down into the nest and 
listened. Hearing something talking in the eggs, she 
said to herself: “This is strange. Chickens ought to 
have come out, but I hear a noise in these eggs and I 
am going to stay on this nest until I find out what’s 
inside those shells.” 

So Mrs. Biddy listened at intervals every day. 
The voices got louder and louder. She said: “Some- 
thing’s going to happen in these eggs and I won’t 
let them alone until I find out just what it is.” 

On the twenty-eighth day, a week after she should 
have had chicks, she felt objects moving under her. 
Peering downward she discovered a fuzzy little yel- 
low thing with a flat bill and with webbed feet. She 
looked at her bill and at her feet and her feathers 
saying: “This is remarkable. This little bird, what- 
ever it is, certainly cannot be my child. My bill is 
sharp and pointed; this little creature has a spoon 
bill. My feet have claws, but this little fellow has no 
claws. His feet are webbed. My feathers are black 
and white, his yellow. How,” queried she, “has this 
strange thing come about?” 

In a little while she stood up again and saw two 
more little yellow creatures under her. After some 


38 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


time they put their heads out through her feathers 
and she said to herself: “They are not like me, but 
they are pretty, well-behaved little birds and I don’t 
care what they are, surely I am their mother. I have 
been on this nest four weeks; I’ve turned these eggs 
over every day; I’ve kept them warm and starved my- 
self nearly to death sitting here in this small cramped 
nest. These young things don’t talk like I do, but 
they are here under me and I must be their mother. 
I am going to do the best I can for them.” 

The Wyandotte mammy kept them in the nest a 
whole day and then she bustled off the nest to go out 
in the sunshine. Her fuzzy yellow babies followed 
her. In a little while she saw them eating the tender 
bluegrass. This she thought strange. “My children 
that I hatched last year,” she said, “did not eat grass 
as cattle and colts do. I can’t think how this thing 
happened, but I am not going to give up these 
youngsters. I will keep them until they grow up, 
and maybe I’ll find out who played this trick on me.” 

Mammy hen settled down to make her curious 
children comfortable. She soon found they were very 
fond of water. The manager’s wife put down a 
saucer of water. The little birds went straight to it 
and sipped it greedily. The mother hen thought they 
were the thirstiest babies she had ever seen. 

After drinking nearly all the water in the saucer 


DR. GANDER OP YO UN GLAND. 


39 


one of the goslings got into the saucer and sat down 
in the water. He seemed to say something to his 
brothers and they also got into the saucer and sat 
down beside him. 

This greatly alarmed mother hen. Nature had 
taught her to keep her chickens dry and away from 
the water. If these little fellows, when they were 
only two days old, get in water and paddle around, 
what wouldn’t they do when they were two weeks 
old? She clucked and coaxed them to get out of the 
saucer, but the goslings paid no attention to her; they 
kept on paddling and drinking. 

Not until they had drunk or splashed out all the 
water did they get out and follow mammy hen over 
into the yard. The mother was dreading all sorts 
of trouble. She thought her children would catch 
cold or have the pneumonia or die of exposure. 
However, none of these things happened, and every 
day the baby birds had their drinks, their bath and 
their grass dinner. They were growing at a great 
rate. 

On their fifth day out of the nest, as Dr. Gander 
came up from the rye field and a swim in the pond, he 
spied this strange family. He screamed to the gos- 
lings so loudly that one could have heard him a 
quarter of a mile. Rushing up to the little fellows, he 
addressed them in goose language, but they did not 


40 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


appear to understand it; they ran to their hen- 
mammy with the Doctor after them. 

Mrs. Wyandotte Hen was not disposed to give 
up her children without a fight. With neck feathers 
ruffled she flew at the Doctor in a most vigorous way. 

This seemed both to please and ansrer the Doctor. 
Catching Mammy Hen by her wing feathers and 
striking her with his big, heavy wings, he knocked 
her down and dragged her on the ground about ten 
feet. Things looked bad for Mammy Hen. 

The Doctor rushed back to the three goslings and 
walked around them. He talked to them, but they 
either did not understand him or were so frightened 
that they did not know what to do or say. 

Although the Doctor had dragged Mammy Hen 
ten feet away and had mauled her up severely, she 
was a faithful mother, and she rushed back to her 
children and resumed her fight with the Doctor. 

During the battle the Doctor tramped on one of 
the goslings, breaking its back. Then the manager’s 
wife appeared on the scene. She started to reprove 
the Doctor, but he rushed at her with lifted wings 
and open bill. Catching him by the wings she threw 
him over into the barn lot and took the hen and the 
goslings into the side yard. 

The fence was now between the Doctor and the 
hen and her brood, but he marched up and down the 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


41 


fence all afternoon honking in a way to show that he 
was just as angry as it was possible for a gander 
father to be. Poking his head through the fence he 
said: “Never mind, I’ll get you yet, you old robber; 
I am going to have those goslings of mine, I don’t 
care where you go.” 

Mrs. Hen, at sundown, went into a box which 
had been prepared for her and her family. As she 
settled down with the goslings under her she peered 
out at Dr. Gander as much as to say: “I am here all 
right and you can’t get me or my children.” 

For a day or two the Doctor paced up and down 
the fence, addressing words of entreaty to the gos- 
lings and of warning to Mrs. Hen. 

The little victim of the fight was carried into the 
house, put into a basket and covered up with some 
flannel cloths, but that night he died. 

A few days later I discovered the manager’s wife 
screaming and waving her hands. At once I rushed 
to the scene of trouble. The Doctor was in a passion. 
He was beating Mammy Hen with his wings and 
hissing at the manager’s wife. The goslings, badly 
frightened, were hidden under a rose bush. 

It seemed the hen had gotten into the yard. The 
Doctor had flown over the wire fence, and he had 
made a vicious attack for the purpose of driving her 
away and taking possession of the goslings. 


42 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


Arriving on the scene I reached under the rose 
bush and pulled the frightened goslings out, handing 
them to the manager’s wife. The goslings made an 
outcry and the Doctor rushed for them. Reaching 
out I caught his wing and pulled him over to me, 
saying: “Doctor, Doctor, I am ashamed of you. 
Are you crazy? You have already killed one gos- 
ling by your foolishness, you have beat up the mother 
who is good and kind to these little children, and you 
will now kill these two goslings if you don’t stop 
your foolishness.” 

He tried to pull away from me, but I pushed him 
down and made him sit on the grass. 

“Ah, General,” he protested, “ you don’t understand 
geese. That hen has my children. If she wants to 
rear children let her get chickens. I am not going to 
let her keep these goslings. They belong to me and 
Mrs. Anna Goose, and that hen could not have gotten 
them decently.” 

“Now, Doctor,” I said, “you have lost your head 
and everybody on the place will be saying you are an 
old fool.” 

The Doctor looked at me seeming very much 
puzzled. He had struck the hen and attacked the 
manager’s wife, but he never raised a wing against 
me. 

“You will remember,” I went on to explain, “that 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


43 


Mrs. Anna Goose laid eighteen eggs. It took her a 
month to do this. We wanted her to go to sitting 
out under the cider press, but she would not do it; 
she kept on laying. We got uneasy about keeping 
the eggs so long. It was cold weather and we were 
afraid they would spoil. The Wyandotte hen was 
sitting, so, being anxious to have some geese like 
you, I told the manager’s wife to take the hen eggs 
out from under my Wyandotte and slip six of Mrs. 
Anna Goose’s eggs under her. The hen was very 
reasonable about it. She did not lose her head and 
temper as you have done; she kept on the job and sat 
a week longer than she expected to sit, finally hatch- 
ing three goslihgs. Instead of fighting her, you 
ought to thank her for what she has done and tell 
her how sorry you are for the way you have treated 
her.” 

The Doctor looked worried. He evidently felt he 
had not done the right thing. He thought awhile and 
said: “General, I was hasty and wrong. If you say 
so I’ll go and tell Mrs. Wyandotte Hen that I will 
not mistreat her any more; but say, my good friend, 
while I may do all this, I would like to know when 
I am going to get those goslings to care for?” 

“Doctor,” I replied, “you are in no position to 
take her children from the hen. Mrs. Goose is back 
yonder under the cider press. She won’t hatch a 


44 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


brood for three weeks. You have to watch her and 
keep the intruders away from her. It will be a whole 
month before you take any sort of care of these gos- 
lings. Mrs. Hen will get tired of them in a month. 
By that time she will want to lay some eggs herself 
and hatch out a brood of Wyandotte chickens. She 
will be glad to give up the goslings.” 

“All right, General, whatever you say goes, but 
I don’t like for a hen to rear my chidren. I want 
them to be geese, not chickens, but if you say I can 
get them in a month I suppose I’ll have to let the hen 
alone. However, she will have those goslings scratch- 
ing like chickens. She won’t teach them how to eat 
grass and swim. She will tell them to cluck and sit 
up on a roost at night instead of sleeping on the 
ground, as geese do. General.” 

Thus, I patched up a peace between the Doctor 
and the hen, but he kept a close watch on her. When 
she was in the yard he walked up and down the other 
side of the fence, and talked between the boards to 
the goslings. They listened to him for an hour or so 
every day, and finally carried on a conversation with 
him. Standing close to the fence he would put his 
head through the crack in the planks and they would 
put their beaks against his. Thus, they became 
great chums. 

After a short while Mrs. Goose hatched six chil- 


DR. GANDER OP YOUNG LAND. 


45 


dren and for a time the Doctor almost forgot his two 
youngsters in the yard. One day he came to me, 
though, and said: “General, don’t you think it is about 
time for that hen to let me have these two children 
of mine?” 

“Yes, Doctor,” I said, “the hen yesterday made 
her a nest in the chicken house. She laid a big brown 
egg there. No doubt Mrs. Hen will be glad to give 
up her goose family and begin to look after her new 
nest.” 

I turned the hen out into the yard with the gos- 
ings. They at once took up with Doctor Gander 
and the six children he and Mrs. Goose were attend- 
ing. The hen stayed around for a while, but the 
Doctor and Mrs. Goose poked out their heads and 
hissed at her. Mrs. Hen saw that her goslings did 
not want her any more, so she went back into the yard. 
Some other hens helped her by laying eggs in her 
nest. In two weeks she had fifteen eggs to sit on. 
She went at once to her business. In three weeks 
she had fourteen Wyandotte children. 

The Doctor and she got on first rate. They reared 
their goslings and chickens together. The goslings 
and chickens ate together, and played together. The 
hen, Mrs. Goose and the Doctor had no more 
quarrels; and they drank out of the same pan; ate 
off the same board, and sat down in a huddle under 


46 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


the big catalpa tree. We called them “The Happy 
Family.” 

The goslings soon forgot they had ever had a 
hen mammy. It seemed ungrateful for these two 
young geese never to talk to Mrs. Hen or go around 
the yard with her. 

One day I mentioned this to the Doctor. He said, 
“General, it’s all in the blood. You must remember 
the goslings were not very big when I got them. 
With me and my wife and their little brothers and 
sisters they are very happy. Mrs. Hen doesn’t seem 
to care and I don’t see why you are worried about it.” 

“I am not disturbed much about it,” I answered, 
“but that hen was very kind to the goslings; they 
ought to go and talk to her and tell her that they 
love her for what she did in hatching them and car- 
ing for them until they were a month old.” 

“I’ll speak to them. General, about it, and let you 
know what they say.” 

The next day I saw the two goslings sit down 
by the Wyandotte hen. I could not understand what 
they were saying, but they were talking to her. I 
suspect the Doctor told them how I felt about it and 
they were trying to be pleasant to the Wyandotte 
hen for what she had done for them when they were 
her babies. 


CHAPTER VI. 

THE WYANDOTTE ROOSTER. 


T HAD long known that there was bad feeling be- 
tween Dr. Gander and a large, silver-laced Wyan- 
dotte rooster. When the Doctor came to eat corn 
out of my hand Mrs. Goose always hovered on the 
outside of the circle formed by the ducks and 
chickens. 

Into this circle Mr. Rooster was always crowd- 
ing when the Doctor’s back was turned, and when 
the Doctor moved around and faced him the Wyan- 
dotte rooster quickly ran back to the outside of the 
ring. Noticing this, I one day mentioned it to Dr. 
Gander, and he began promptly to talk so freely and 
at such length that it was easy to see that he had 
thought long and seriously on this subject. 

“For some time. General,” he said, “Fve wanted 
to tell you about that rooster. 

“Mrs. Anna Goose, you’ve seen, is a timid, modest 
lady. She never comes up to greet you like I do, and 
if you try to get these goslings to eat out of your hand 
she hisses at you. I’ve watched you trying to throw 
grains of corn in her mouth, but she is always too 
quick and too smart for you to catch her. I have told 
( 47 ) 


48 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


her again and again that you are good and kind and 
that you would not hurt her, but she says that once 
a man hit her with a stick and she does not propose 
to trust any man. The cook tries to get her to eat 
out of her hand as I do, but she says the cook is black 
and that she is afraid of black things because a black 
dog once caught her by the wing and pulled her all 
over the yard, nearly breaking every bone in her 
body. 

“Women folks. General, you know as well as I do, 
are mighty set in their ways and sometimes it does 
not do any good to argue with them. Mrs. Goose 
always has the last word, it matters not what I can 
do. When we get into an argument about how good 
you are to us geese and I tell her that you never harm 
anything, she says that she knows better. She says 
she saw you throw a rock at a neighbor’s dog and 
that you tied a tin can to the tail of the little terrier 
who came over here to fight Bumps and Teddy, and 
who trampled down your flowers. I told her that you 
said to me that you had driven him off fifty times, 
and that, as he belonged to a neighbor’s little boy, 
you did not want to kill him; that you had said to 
me that there was no other way to get rid of that 
dog. 

“Mrs. Anna Goose kept on arguing with me about 
the matter. I became irritated at what she said about 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


49 


you, and when I insisted firmly that she was mis- 
taken, she said as a last shot at me that for a big man 
who had been a Confederate soldier to tie a tin can 
on a little innocent dog’s tail and make him run him- 
self nearly to death showed that he was not such a 
good man after all. 

“Now, General, I must say that this was a poser 
to me, and as I could not at the moment make any 
really good answer, I pretended to be angry. I 
raised my head as high as I could and flapping my 
wings, honked as loudly as I could. I’ll admit that 
Mrs. Goose had the better of the argument, for I be- 
lieve you will yourself say that a man weighing two 
hundred pounds who mistreats a dog weighing nine 
pounds is a bit of a bully.” 

“Ah, Doctor,” I said, “you have stated the ques- 
tion fairly for Mrs. Goose, but don’t I see her catch 
these ducks and hens by the back and drag them on 
the ground for twenty feet when they come up to 
eat anything they want? AVhy, only yesterday, when 
I cut open six overripe watermelons for you and your 
family and the ducks I saw her take that white-and- 
fawn Indian Runner duck, which weighs only about a 
fourth as much as she, by the wing, shake it and then 
haul her for ten feet in the grass. Ask her if I did 
not see her, less than a week ago, catch that Wyan- 
dotte hen in the back and shake her for two minutes 


50 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


while she squawked and begged to be let loose. She 
held on to the hen and beat and shook her until she 
pulled a handful of feathers out of her neck and back. 
As Mrs. Anna Goose doesn’t honk to me, will you 
please say to her that her criticism of me is not de- 
sired?” 

“General, you lawyers always have good excuses 
to make. The very next time Mrs. Goose goes after 
me, being so fond of you, I’ll just tell the lady what 
you said, but I fear it won’t do very much good; for 
she is sure, like all females, to get in the last word, 
and I’ll have to flop my wings and walk off half 
angry. 

“However, I started to tell you about the Wyan- 
dotte rooster, and how I evened up with him for the 
way he treated my wife and my babies when I was 
not around. You see that great beak of his is an ef- 
fective weapon, and when he pecks with it he leaves 
a sore place for some days. He never does a thing 
when I am close by. He waits until I go for a drink 
at the trough and when my back is turned he gets in 
his work as a bully. 

“My family having made many complaints that 
Mr. Rooster had mistreated them, I made up my 
mind that the first real chance I had at him I would 
make him afraid of geese. My family looks to me to 
take care of them, and I suspect. General, that I am 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


51 


about the fightin’est goose you ever had? When 
I get really stirred up I am the 'bad man from Bitter 
Creek.’ ” 

“Yes, Doctor,” I said, “there is nO doubt about 
it that you are dead game. I saw you fight the cow, 
the pony, the pigs and the dog, and I saw you wallop 
a ten-year-old boy who tried to pick up a gosling. But 
come, don’t take so long. I must get to my office 
and I can’t listen to you all day.” 

“You seem a little impatient this morning, my 
dear friend,” the Doctor replied. “I’ll hurry all I 
can. 

“A few days ago Mrs. Anna Goose complained 
that Mr. Rooster not only struck her with his claws, 
but, in running at her, knocked down Sammy 
Gosling, who has a broken leg, and frightened him 
severely. 

“Mrs. Goose’s words kept ringing in my ears and 
they made me very angry. That rooster weighs 
twelve pounds. General, and with it he is a ruffian 
and a bully, but you know I am a twenty-three 
pounder and I can stretch by wings from tip to tip 
and cover five feet, a distance not much less than your 
height. 

“Day before yesterday the man in charge of the 
place was feeding us some corn over by the crib. 
He was standing at the corner throwing the grain on 


52 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


both sides of the building. I was on one side and 
Mrs. Goose and the goslings around the corner. All 
at once I heard a racket. I peeped quickly around 
the corner and there was Mr. Rooster establishing 
his reputation as a bully. He first picked up a wild 
mallard duck, gave her a hard shake and then he 
rushed at Mrs. Goose and striking her on the neck 
nearly knocked her down. I dropped some corn out 
of my mouth, half raised my wings, poked out my 
long neck, and before Mr. Rooster knew what I was 
about I had him by the wing and was beating him 
with my long wings. 

“Ah, but it did me much good to hear the villain 
squawk and to feel him struggle to get away from 
me. This fight between me and the rooster created a 
sensation in the barnyard. The hens and the ducks 
ran away as fast as they could, the little chickens ran 
under the crib and the seven goslings under the 
wagon. The rooster pulled and squawked miserably, 
but it did him no good. He begged me to let him go, 
but I said, ‘Not on your life, my young man; you’ve 
been mistreating my family and the ducks behind my 
back for a long time. Now, I’ve caught you in the 
act.’ And I flapped my wings and struck him on his 
legs and breast. 

“He kept on begging and squawking and finally 


DR. G AND HR OF YOUNGLAND. 


53 


I said, ‘Ruffian, if I let you loose will you ever strike 
Mrs. Goose or peck my goslings any more?’ 

“He said, ‘Never, never. Doctor, will I again mis- 
treat any of your family and I’ll never abuse the 
ducks and chickens again.’ 

“I pulled out of his back a bunch of feathers and 
then let him loose, saying, ‘Go and behave yourself, 
and if I ever catch you at any of your brutal, sneak- 
ing tricks again I’ll break every bone in your body.’ 

“General, the rooster ran off and hid behind the 
wagon for a week. He was the sickest bird you ever 
saw. He never looks me in the face any more and 
when I come around he meekly sneaks into a corner. 
I am sure he will never trouble me or my family or 
my duck friends any more. 

“Don’t you think I served him right?” 

“Yes, Doctor,” I replied, “I have noticed the mis- 
conduct of that rooster for a long time and I am glad 
you have given him so good a lesson. You are an ex- 
cellent schoolmaster.” 


CHAPTER VIL 

THE WYANDOTTE HEN’S BROOD. 

■p\R. GANDER turned his eyes toward the sun 
with a half inclination of his head. His yellow- 
brown eye, his gracefully-curved neck and the knob 
on his beak made him extremely handsome. After 
wheeling and eating some corn out of my hand he 
sagely said: 

“General, do you see that silver-laced Wyan- 
dotte hen with one chicken and five ducks following 
her around the yard? You would think to hear her 
cluck at the mongrel offspring she watches so care- 
fully that she believes she owns this place and that 
she is much smarter than we geese. The truth is she 
is a very silly bird, or she never would have mixed 
her family so badly. There is that Wyandotte 
chicken. He doesn’t know whether he is a duck or a 
chicken. He has run with these ducks as his brothers 
and sisters ever since he was born and he has so taken 
up with these five little ducklings that he has to sit 
down and think it over to know what he really is. 

“When these little ducks get into a puddle of 
water and wash themselves and then pick out their 
feathers and sip the water and throw back their heads 

( 54 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


55 


to get the water down their throats, that fool chicken 
goes through the same performance. He goes into 
the water and sits down as if he would try to swim, 
and then his mammy nearly goes crazy. She rushes 
up to the puddle and squawks and clucks like a mad 
hen, and does all sorts of things to get her chicken 
to come out. He can’t float and he soon crawls out, 
the most bedraggled little wretch you ever saw. The 
ducks, they can swim all day and not get wet, but it’s 
different with a chicken. The old hen mammy used 
to make a real big fuss when the little ducks went 
in to swim, but when that silly chicken tried the game 
she nearly went wild and raised an awful racket. 

“The way that old hen got that mixed brood was 
this: you know it takes twenty-eight days for duck 
eggs to hatch, and the lady of the house set the hen 
on nine duck eggs and let her go on for a week. The 
hen thought it was all right. Chicken eggs, you 
know. General, hatch in twenty-one days, and at the 
end of the week the lady of the house slipped in two 
hen eggs. In this way the little ducks got a week the 
start of the chickens. 

“The crew are twins, or, rather, sixes, and while 
they were all born the same day, the ducks are a week 
the older. This family, now so happy, don’t know 
how it was arranged, and they all get along just as 
if they were the same age and all set on the same 


56 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


day. I watched the old hen the day these ducks and 
chickens hatched and she was the funniest creature 
you ever saw. She heard a little chicken pip his shell 
and he chirped all right, and then she heard a little 
duck knock a hole in his shell and he talked duck talk 
and she did not know what to do or say. She clucked 
chicken, but the ducks did not understand chicken, 
and she did not then understand duck talk. She stood 
on the nest and peered down at these young things 
and she seemed greatly stirred. 

“The ducks kept on pipping and talking and the 
chicken he talked, too, and the old hen listened, with 
curious fear. She knew she had kept these eggs 
under her for four weeks; that she never let one of 
them get away. She remembered that she had turned 
the eggs over every day, no child or dog had come 
near all this time and she was certain she had done 
all a hen mammy Could do. 

“She lifted herself again and again and looked 
over her mixed brood. One was, like her, a chicken, 
but the other six were soft, fuzzy little things with 
flat bills. Her Wyandotte baby had a sharp bill and 
was like her, but these little things had flat feet. The 
little ducks nestled under her wing and crawled up 
her side and poked their heads out on the top of her 
back. The ducks seemed good, nice little children, 
and the hen, not satisfied as to how this strange thing 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


57 


had come about, listened to the chirping of the 
chicken and the quacking of the ducks and settled 
down to do the best she could for them all. 

“General, it took that hen a long time to learn 
duck words. With the chickens she was at home, 
but the ducks talked a strange tongue. She would 
turn her head on one side and listen so queerly that 
it would even make a goose laugh. The little ducks, 
when she would sit down by them, seemed to have a 
lot of fun with the hen. They quacked away at each 
other, and it looked to me as if they were trying to 
confuse the hen. But, General, that hen finally 
learned to understand. She seemed really to want 
to know how to take care of her children, even if they 
were ducks. The way she managed it was this: 

“The Wyandotte hen listened to a mammy duck 
and learned to talk the duck language. It was amus- 
ing, General, to hear that hen use h<^r own language 
to her chicken, and in the next breath speak the 
language of a duck to her other five children. She 
finally came to be accomplished as a linguist. She 
learned duck signs of danger so well that you would 
have thought it was a duck calling to her children to 
run in. That hen was a regular hyphenate — duck on 
one side and hen on the other, but all the same she 
was a devoted mother. 


58 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


“She never went out of the yard. She stayed 
around the house, and out in the flower garden, and 
taught her children close to home. She could not 
catch as many bugs as mammy duck, but she kept 
her little ones out of danger, and her ducks grew 
faster than Mammy Duck’s children. 

“If the manager’s wife will remember Mrs. Hen 
next year and give her more duck eggs to hatch, she 
will be the best mother for ducks on this place. 

“It took a long time for the hen to learn to leave 
her ducks at night. The chicken flew up in a small 
tree near the duck box, and Mammy Hen doesn’t like 
to roost on the ground. She would look up at the 
chicken in the tree, and at the five ducks on the 
ground. She did not know what to do, whether to 
roost with the chicken in the tree or squat on the 
ground with the ducks. She would sit on the ground 
for awhile, then fly up into the tree beside her chicken. 
The ducks cried and begged her to get down with 
them. They could not sit on a limb. When a chicken 
gets on a limb and sits down, its claws fasten around 
the limb and it can’t get loose until it stands up. But, 
General, you know a duck is not built that way. It 
sits in the water or on the ground, but cannot fly up 
and roost on a limb. 

“Mammy Hen had great trouble in deciding be- 
tween her children. One night a rainstorm came 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


59 


and the water ran all around the duck box. Mammy 
Hen, down with the ducks, got wet and dirty. The 
ducks thought it was great fun to paddle in the water, 
but it was bad on Mrs. Hen, so flying up into a tree 
she sat down by her chicken son and told the duck 
children they could swim. This they did, but their 
mammy hen never sits on the ground any more 
with them. 

“For a little while the young ducks sat under the 
tree and huddled about the roots as close to their 
hen mother as they could get. After a time they be- 
gan to run with Mammy Duck’s children. They slept 
out with them, and got in the tub with them. Finally, 
they quit the hen, and now you would think if you 
saw them in the yard they never did know each other. 

“General, ducks and chickens do that way, but 
Chinese goslings would never give up their mammy, 
even if she were a hen. Don’t you remember those 
three goslings you reared in an incubator after Mary 
Goose hatched them out for you? Taking up with 
you they followed you all over the farm, and talked 
to you as if they were your children. They followed 
you so many places, and talked to you so much that 
you got tired of them and gave them away to a lady 
far out in the State. I thought. General, you did not 
treat these goslings just right. They loved you so 


60 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


much, and were so grateful for the way that you took 
care of them when they were little. It wasn’t just 
like you to send your friends away.” 

“Dr. Gander, you are right. I did not treat those 
goslings fairly or nicely,” I said. “I have been very 
sorry that I ever sent them away. I saw them a few 
weeks ago, and I told the lady to whom I sent them 
that she must let me have them back again. They 
have reared nine goslings, and she is going to send 
them here very soon.” 

The Doctor said he was very glad, that he would 
tell the barnyard, and it would love me more than 
ever for bringing the young geese back. 


CHAPTER VIII. 


DR. GANDER FIGHTS MAMMY SOW. 

AM afraid, General,” Dr. Gander said to me one 
**■ morning, “that you will get disgusted with me 
for fighting so much. I am having battles all the 
time, but I don’t want you to get the notion that I 
am fussy or quarrelsome. 

“You must remember. General, that we are all 
in pretty close quarters here. The barn lot covers 
less than half an acre. When we get out into the 
yard w^e have only an acre. With nine geese, thirty 
hens, forty chicks, twenty-seven ducks, ten hogs, 
three dogs, one pony, two cows, one calf and three 
horses, it becomes necessary for a husband and 
father such as I am to be ready to stand uo for his 
rights and the rights of his family and his friends. 
He must keep a sharp lookout every minute of his 
life. 

“If I am a warrior it is because I can’t help my- 
self. You would not keep me for your friend if I ran 
away from the rooster, or a turkey gobbler, or a 
drake, or a cat, or a pig, or a pony. General, they 
tell me that you have been something of a scrapper 
yourself, in your way and your day, and if a man can 
( 61 ) 


62 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


fight for his rights why should a gander not strike 
back when people or animals try to impose on him? 
I heard you telling your people the other day that I 
was the finest goose in Kentucky. You did not know 
that I was listening, but I was, and I felt mighty 
proud when I heard what you said about my fight 
with the Fox Terrier and how I trounced the Wyan- 
dotte Rooster. 

‘T hope you have not forgotten. General, the day 
when the old black and white sow got out of the pen 
and brought her pigs into the barn. Hogs are very 
curious creatures. They will eat hens, little chickens, 
ducks and goslings. Why, General, you know that 
many hog mothers are cannibals and eat their own 
pigs. These other fowls are silly things who don’t 
know that the way to get rid of a hungry sow is to 
fight her. You soldiers know that in a battle it is a 
great thing to crowd the other fellow, and in my 
fights I always force the fighting. I do not let them 
fight me; I fight them and begin the war before they 
are ready for me. 

“When that old sow got out she was hungry and 
she made a run for a fat Wyandotte hen. The hen 
was so heavy that she could not run very far. If 
she had known enough to run at the sow and strike 
her with her wings and. peck at her eyes instead of 
squawking and running, she could have saved her life 


DR. G AND HR OF YOUN GLAND. 


63 


instead of being eaten up by a hog. However, the 
sow got the hen and it did not take very long for 
her to make a lunch off of her. 

“Thea the sow looked hungrily over at me seem- 
ing to say to herself, ‘That’s a big, fine, fat goose. 
The hen was good, but this gander will be better eat- 
ing.’ 

“So with open mouth she started straight for 
where I was standing. 

“General, you know I had to do a lot of think- 
ing in a short time. I was glad I was out in the 
middle of the lot. I did not want her to be able to 
crowd me so I couldn’t use my big wings and bite 
with my bill. No sooner did she start toward me 
than I started towards her. I gave the loudest battle 
cry I ever gave in my life, and, standing on my great 
big web feet, I spread out my wings and, half running 
and half flying, I made a beeline for the sow. 

“ ‘You old heathen,’ I said, ‘this is no Wyandotte 
hen you are running into. This is Dr. Gander, a 
cock of the walk, and I am not afraid of anybody or 
anything on this place but the General himself.’ 

“Ah, my good friend, you ought to have seen that 
old sow stop, look and listen. She had never before 
seen a real gander in action, and when she stopped I 
kept right on flapping my wings, poking out my head 
and honking as loudly as I could. The wretched old 


64 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


hen-eater had not expected this sort of response. She 
had imagined she had a sinecure. 

“I’ll admit, General, I was awfully scared. The 
sow weighed two hundred pounds and I only weighed 
twenty-four. But, General, it is not always the 
weight that tells in a battle. A little fellow 5 feet 4 
inches, if he has got the right spirit in him, is just as 
good for a soldier as a man 6 feet 2 inches. It’s the 
heart, General, that tells in the battle. Flesh is all 
right in a way, but between man and beast in a 
struggle it’s the heart that counts. I knew there was 
only one thing could save me and that was to put up a 
brave front and show that I was not afraid. You 
will wonder how a goose could do so much brain 
work in two seconds; but. General, I just had to do it. 
The hog could run faster than I could — I did not have 
time to fly over the fence and so I flew at the hog. 
When I began my charge on her I saw her slow up 
a little bit and then I said, ‘Dr. Gander, this is your 
time to get in your work,’ and so, half running and 
half flying, I engaged in battle with her. 

“I struck her as hard as I could with my wings. 
Why, General, I can knock a boy down or a dog over 
with one stroke of my wing. Biting would do no 
good, I saw that. She could outbite me and so I had 
to stand up and fight it out with this hog. I hit her 
in the eye and this blinded her, but she was a fighter, 


DR. GANDER OF YOU N GLAND. 


65 


too, and while the tears ran from her eyes, she kept 
on pushing me. 

“A hog. General, can turn around very quickly, so 
Mammy Sow kept on turning around and around, 
hoping to catch me in her powerful jaws. I struck 
her in the eyes every chance I got. That seemed 
to surprise her, but she kept on coming at me. Flap- 
ping my wings and dodging the sow made me very 
tired. It is not often I get tired of a fight, but, to 
tell you the truth, my dear good friend, I was much 
wearied with this one, and how I did wish for Mr. 
Johnnie Dixie to come and kick the sow as he did 
the big black dog. I was getting weaker and weaker 
every minute. I heard you say once to somebody, 
General, something about praying. We geese don’t 
know how to pray, but I was very anxious to try, and 
so in the midst of the struggle I said, ‘God help me.’ 
I did not know anything about God, but I’ve heard 
you when I was sitting down on the step of the front 
porch praying to your God. If there is a goose God, 
I concluded that I had better get all the help I could 
from him. It looked very dark for me. The truth is. 
General, the hog was getting the better of me. If the 
sow did not understand this, I did, and I kept on look- 
ing around to find some way of escape. That pesky 
Wyandotte rooster was standing over by the crib 


66 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


watching the fight and he did not come near to help 
me. I really believe he wanted to get me killed. 

“When I was thinking about what a bad fix I 
was in I heard the sweetest sound that ever fell on 
goose ears. It was little Ted barking. As soon as he 
saw me in trouble he jumped through a hole in the 
fence and, growling and barking, he ran up behind 
the sow and bit her on her hind leg. Little Ted was 
not a big dog, but for his size he was about the brav- 
est little fellow I ever saw. His attack must have 
hurt the sow. She gave a squeal and turned around 
to see who had thus hurt her. She seemed to forget 
me for a moment and got ready to crush Ted for his 
interference in the battle with me. Ted was fat and 
he could not run very fast, but he did not try to 
run; he just barked and snapped at the sow. This 
looked like a good time for me to get away, but I 
thought it over and said to myself, ‘Dr. Gander, you 
say you are brave and a fighter. Will you sneak 
away and leave little Ted to be killed by the sow?’ 
I answered, ‘No, I’ll never be a coward and desert the 
little dog that came to help me when I was in such 
great trouble.’ Then I rushed again into the battle 
and struck Mrs. Sow in the eyes, and Ted barked and 
bit her on her hind leg again. 

“General, that old wretch would have whipped 
us both but for a very lucky thing that happened jrst 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


67 


at that moment. Geese and dogs have luck just like 
you people, General, and maybe it was that prayer I 
made earlier in the fight. Anyhow, help came from 
a very strange quarter. The Jersey cow was in her 
stall. The door was open, so she came out to the 
pump to get a drink. The fight was going on near 
the water trough. Well, my dear friend, I suppose 
you know that cows don’t like sows, and Mrs. Jersey 
Cow seemed to get very angry. She bellowed, put 
her head down towards the ground, and started to 
hook the sow with her horns. The noise Mrs. Cow 
made and the barking of Ted seemed to make the 
old hog come to her senses and she stopped and be- 
gan to think, too. The sow halted and seemed con- 
tent to call it a drawn battle, but not so Mrs. Jersey 
Cow. She seemed to be hunting for a fight. She just 
wheeled around as if she was going to leave the fight. 
Mrs. Mammy Sow was standing across her path, and 
Mrs. Cow just turned loose with her right hind foot 
and kicked very hard and hit Mammy Sow a square 
jolt in her side. The old reprobate half fell over, and 
such a squeal as she gave. Why, you could have 
heard it half a mile away. I knew then the fight 
was won. True enough, the sow was willing to stop, 
and walked away looking very sad. 

“I went over to little Ted and I put out my bill 
and Ted licked it. Mrs. Jersey Cow came over and 


68 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


she put her head down right where Ted and I were 
carrying on. She looked just as proud and happy 
with the part she had played in the fracas. 

“Just then, General, the manager came in the lot. 
He had been forking up some hay and had a big 
pitchfork in his hand. He opened the gate into the 
barn lot, gave Mrs. Sow a punch in the side and made 
her run back into the pig pen. I begged the good 
man to fix up the fence very tight and strong and 
never to let her out into the barnyard again. He 
said he would look after this, and he has kept his 
word to this day.” 



THE MARTINS. 




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CHAPTER IX. 

DR. GANDER AND THE MARTINS. 

TN the third week in July at 6 o’clock in the morn- 
^ ing, walking through the yard I saw Dr. Gander 
gazing up at the martin box. This box was on top 
of a pole about twenty feet from the ground and the 
Doctor was attracted by the great racket going on 
between the martins and the three English sparrows. 
The martins were circling around in the air and 
uttering cries of distress. Their house was a two- 
story dwelling painted green. It had four rooms 
downstairs and four upstairs. It had been built with 
great care and at some cost. Dr. Gander eyed the 
fight, listened with deep interest to the cries of the 
martins and the chirping of the sparrows, and then 
solemnly turned to me, ate a few grains of corn from 
my hand and sagely remarked: 

“General, you have gone to expense and trouble 
to get these martins to live with you. You have built 
two sets of houses and have gotten the highest poles 
you could find to satisfy these fastidious birds. You 
put a box five feet high from the stable roof, but the 
martins said, ‘Too low, the cat will get us there.’ 
They went away and you sent a man over to the hills 

( 69 ) 


70 


DR. GANDER OF YO UNGLAND. 


to get an eighteen-foot pole to put the box on. Then 
they were satisfied and came back. 

“For three years IVe been watching these mar- 
tins and they strike me as a curious lot. The first 
year they would. not live with you at all. Then you 
rebuilt their lodgings and they came a few days and 
then went away, and only two came back, and then 
later four moved in. These martins travel long dis- 
tances to rear their young in Kentucky. 

“Fve observed. General, that they always come 
here on the 4th or 5th of April, and they leave you 
about the 18th day of August. It seems to me that, 
considering that they abide only four months and 
then leave to stay eight months, you put yourself to 
a great deal of trouble to please these miserable 
wanderers. 

“I observed this spring when they came that it 
was quite cold. They promptly went back to Ten- 
nessee or Georgia to wait until it got warmer. I 
thought they had gone for good, but the first warm 
morning they turned up twittering around the box 
and going in and out from the porch as if they had 
come for good. 

“I observed that they fly at night. They don’t 
mind the dark. It would take them only about five 
hours to fly back to Tennessee and seven hours to 
land in Georgia, so it is not much of a trip after all. 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


71 


They can fly as fast as any express railroad train can 
travel. It’s just fun for them to go back to Tennes- 
see for a little spin through the air — a sort of a joy 
fly, General. 

‘‘They don’t cost you much for their food. They 
never light in your field. They steal no corn like 
these pirate jaybirds and blackbirds, and they are far 
more decent than robins, catbirds or thrushes. Mos- 
quitoes and gnats and water are all they want or eat. 
They don’t raid your strawberries, raspberries, black- 
berries, nor even feed on the mulberries you provide 
for those woodpeckers and other birds, but they 
make their supper, breakfast and dinner on flying 
insects. You would not think. General, that the food 
these martins eat would make much of a fighter, but 
they tackle a crow or a hawk or blackbird and fight 
courageously. A hawk or a cow is twenty times as 
big as a martin, but neither scares the martin. He is 
careful always to jab the hawk or crow in the back. 
These birds are so big, however, that a martin ought 
to be allowed ‘underholts.’ 

“What I wanted really to tell you about, though, 
was the way those three little English sparrows beat 
the martins out of the lower story of that martin 
box. The martins are supposed to hatch two broods 
every summer. About the first of August when the 
young ones have learned to fly well they go away at 


72 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


night and come back early in the morning. I have 
tried to find out where they go, but they won’t tell 
me. Maybe you could inform me where they go on 
these night journeys.” 

“No, Dr. Gander,” I replied. “I have myself been 
trying to find out why and where the martins go on 
their night trips. They leave about four in the after- 
noon and they get back a little after daybreak.” 

“That is very odd, General, but the most amusing 
thing I’ve seen for a long while is how that little 
Captain Sparrow outwits these martins. I know you 
are weak on the martins, but that sparrow boy, he 
pleases me more than any mar?tin I’ve ever seen. 

“I watched you when the martins mobilized. I 
heard you laugh as they all sat in a row on the box 
and perches. That was the day before they went 
away. They did a lot of chirping and talking as 
thirty or forty of them sat in four rows all perfectly 
still. It looked to me as if they were there to have 
you review them. They remembered, I suspect. Gen- 
eral, that you are an old soldier and wanted to show 
appreciation for the cozy house you had built for 
them. Finally all got in one row and then in a little 
while all flew away and didn’t come back again that 
day. 

“The martins left about four o’clock in the after- 
noon. At once that little half-white sparrow sitting 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


73 


up on the porch asked his companion to help him. 
They began busily carrying straw, which they put 
inside the box. The half-white fellow seemed to be 
the boss. I called him Captain Sparrow. 

“In two hours they had carried up what appeared 
to me to be a big handful of straws putting it all in- 
side the box at both doors and leaving only a little 
hole to get in and out. By dark they had both doors 
built up and the straw safely piled to cover the open- 
ing. You know, General, the sparrow is a tomtit of 
a bird, but even if he is little he is a courageous 
fighter. I watched these sparrow men until dark. 
They seemed to have the fort all right when they 
went inside to spend the night. Hardly as big as 
the end of your thumb, they left as a door a hole 
about as big around as a quarter of a dollar. Through 
that they could run in and out of these martin houses. 

“The fun came when the martins got back in the 
morning. They flew in about an hour after day- 
break. When they saw the straw in the doorways 
they began to twitter with amazement. Flying 
around and around, they tried to light on the porch. 
At last getting a footing there they tried to push the 
straw from the door and then to pull it out'. 

“Captain Sparrow was on the inside. I could see 
his head in the hole he had left to go in and out. He 
pecked away at the martins or held to the straw 


74 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


while an invader losing his balance had to fly around 
the box. Other martins were enlisted in the attack. 
All the time Captain Sparrow stood firm behind his 
straw door repelling every assault. 

'‘For about two hours, General, this fight went on. 
I squatted down on the grass and watched. Geese, 
General, are just like human beings. They always 
enjoy a fight. At last the martins became tired and 
abandoned the attack, while tired Captain Sparrow 
sat inside and laughed. 

“All martins in the neighborhood were called in 
to a council of war. While they were sitting on the 
other boxes Captain Sparrow became thirsty and 
peeping out to see that no martins were around he 
slipped out and flew down to the trough. There he 
got a drink and took his morning bath. All the time 
he kept an eye on the martins who, it appeared to 
me, did not know what to do. Finally Captain 
Sparrow flew on top of the box and said, as plainly 
as a sparrow could say, ‘Come on, Mr. Martin, if you 
want to fight, Fm your man.’ 

“When the martins saw Captain Sparrow there 
they flew in a circle around the box gradually moving 
down closer to the sparrow soldier. Then the Captain 
seeing they were too many for him flew down on 
the porch and slipped into his fort where he stood 
prepared to resume the battle. 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


75 


'‘At this juncture the martins gave up all effort 
to regain their home. The next day the three spar- 
rows moved into the lower floor with their families. 
There they have a splendid new home. 

“General, the martins are gone. Next spring 
when they come back I expect another fight, but I 
believe if Captain Sparrow lives through the winter 
and is here when the martins return, he will be ready 
for them. If I bet as you humans I would stake my 
money that the doughty Captain and his partners 
will have the lower story of the martin box as long 
as they desire it.” 


CHAPTER X. 

DR. GANDER’S ACCOMPLISHED SON. 

F or several days I noticed Dr. Gander walking 
around on the north side of the house and stand- 
ing near the Chickasaw plum tree. This tree was 
full of fruit and some of the limbs reached down as 
low as two or three feet from the ground. It was 
very evident that Dr. Gander wanted to attract my 
attention to something. With him was one of his 
sons about four months old. Father and son seemed 
to be on excellent terms, and the Doctor carried him- 
self with a pride of form that he did not always 
exhibit unless something important had happened or 
was about to happen. 

Finally he came up to me and said: “General, it 
is a great thing to have smart children. Do you see 
that boy out there?” 

“Yes, Doctor, but I don’t see anything unusual 
about him. He is a presentable goose — not very 
large. He walks with a good deal of style, like you, 
but I don’t think he is any better looking or any bet- 
ter acting, so far as I can tell, than the sixteen other 
children that you and your two wives are rearing for 
me this year.” 


( 76 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


77 


“But, General, he said, “there is a great differ- 
ence in children, and although I have seventeen this 
year I think this young goose the smartest of all of 
them. Indeed, I think he is the smartest boy I ever 
had. I want you to name him Dr. Gander, Jr. I want 
everybody to know I am his father.” 

“Doctor,” I said, “please tell me what is so 
wonderful about this young goose.” 

Dr. Gander replied: “I am a great deal like Jacob 
was about Joseph — I heard you reading about that 
the other day to your family. You said something 
about Joseph's father giving him a pretty coat of 
many colors, which made his brothers very angry. 
Now, of course, I cannot give Dr. Gander, Jr., a coat 
of many colors, but I feel the same pride in that son 
that Jacob felt in Joseph.” 

“Doctor, I am willing to do that if you insist,” 
I said, “but really I ought to have a very good reason 
for it. If I were going to pick out a child to name 
for you, it would be the little one that walks just like 
you do and follows you down in the grapery. I saw 
him pick on a gander that was four times as big as 
he. He got the older bird by the back and wing and 
swung him around. He is a splendid fighter. You 
ought to be proud of that youngster — he talks, walks 
and acts like you, and he is my pet of all the goslings 
on the place.” 


78 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


“You are a smart man,” answered Dr. Gander, 
“but I can pick out a bright goose better than you 
can. You don’t have to point them out to me. I 
have been watching this son of mine and I have seen 
him do something that I don’t think any other goose 
four months old ever did before.” 

“But please tell me. Doctor,” I said, “what he has 
done that makes you so proud of him.” 

“General, you see that limb of the plumb tree — 
thre^ and one-half feet from the ground. This boy of 
mine is very fond of plums. He swallows them 
whole. You would think he had a goitre or a swell- 
ing in his neck when he tries to get them down. It 
takes him some time — he has to shake his head and 
stretch his neck and run around in the grass for sev- 
eral minutes to accomplish the feat. 

“He comes here four or five times a day. First 
he looks around on the ground and picking up all the 
plums that he finds, eats them. I do not relish the 
fruit, but he seems very fond of them. He swallows 
them stone and all. I have watched him get under 
that low-hanging limb, and stretching his neck as 
high as he can, jump up off the ground and catch the 
limb in his mouth and shake it until he makes the 
plums drop. Then he picks them up and eats them. 
Returning in an hour or so, he repeats the perform- 
ance. I believe he eats at least twenty plums a day. 



DOtCTOR GANDER, JR. 

“Strotchinj? his neck as high as he can, jump off the ground, catx!h a limb iu 
hU mouth and shake it until he makes the plums drop.*' 


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DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


79 


“I have been waiting a long time to tell you about 
this, General. I have been afraid you might not let 
him come in to the yard any more because he eats 
so many of your plums.” 

“Doctor,” said I, “this is an extraordinary story. 
I thought you were the smartest goose in the world, 
but you never did anything like this. I dislike to dis- 
pute your word, but you must be mistaken.” 

“But, General,” he said, “he does. I have seen 
him do it a dozen times. I don’t see him now, but I 
will go and get him. I’ll bring him here and let you 
see for yourself what he can do.” 

“Well,” said I, “seeing is believing. Doctor. You 
will have to show me.” 

The Doctor seemed vexed at me for doubting his 
word. He walked around the house and gave one 
of his loud calls. In two minutes Dr. Gander, Jr., ap- 
peared. As he headed toward the plum tree the Doc- 
tor squatted down on the ground and looking at me 
winked his eye as much as to say, “Now, watch and 
see my boy do his trick.” 

After Dr. Gander, Jr., discovered that he could 
not find any plums on the ground he came back under 
the limb and springing up actually did catch it in 
his bill and give it a shake. The first time he didn’t 


80 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


get a plum. But he sprang up the second time and 
giving it a vigorous shake, he broke off the end of the 
limb. Down came four or five plums, which he gob- 
bled down. 

Dr. Gander, Sr., stood up triumphantly and gave 
a honk that could be heard a half mile away. 

“Doctor, I am convinced,” I said; “I am going to 
call him Dr. Gander, Jr., and I am not going to sell 
him; I am going to keep him and let him live with 
you. Some of your boys mistreated you last year — 
you remember I got rid of them. I don’t believe this 
clever boy will ever attack you. I think he will be 
good enough not to fight his father. 

“So we will consider that Dr. Gander, Jr., bears 
your name, and that he will stay here — nobody can 
buy him or get him away from me so long as you live 
and so long as I live.” 


CHAPTER XI. 

DR. GANDER AND THE JERSEY COW. 

WT E keep two cows at our home, one a Holstein, 
^ ^ who gives a great lot of milk, and the other 
a Jersey, who is the cream and butter maker. 

My Jersey cow became the mother of a beautiful 
son. He was red with a white spot in his forehead 
and he had two white feet. His hair was smooth and 
soft. Every day his mother smoothed it out by lick- 
ing it with her tongue. That is the way a mother 
cow has of combing the hair of her children. 

In a day or two the calf began to scamper all 
over the lot. He would run around the place as hard 
as he could go and then scamper back to his mother. 
“Bumps,” the Poodle dog, would bark and run after 
him, and they had as much fun as two school boys. 
“Princess,” the Collie, would watch them, but she 
liked to see them have fun, and if the horses bit at 
the calf she would bark and run between them and 
say, as Collie dogs can say, “Let them alone or I will 
bite you.” 

Sometimes Mother Cow would get uneasy about 
her son and she would run over the lot after him, 
( 81 ) 


82 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


and in doing this she brought about the tragedy of 
which Dr. Gander told me one day late in the fall. 

I came home a little early in the afternoon and 
down near the front gate I found Dr. Gander sitting 
on the ground, apparently in a brown study. He was 
nibbling abstractedly at the grass around him. We 
know each other so well that I was sure he had some- 
thing important to tell me. 

Coming near, I called out, “Ah, Dr. Gander, I 
hope it is well with you this afternoon. Come and 
tell me what, if anything, troubles you.” 

“Troubles me. General? I should say that I have 
had a lot of troubles today. I am sorry to tell you so 
many disagreeable things. It seems that I am always 
having something to distress me and you, too.” 

“General, geese are like people. Things don’t go 
smoothly but for very good people, and being a goose 
doesn’t make any difference. Goose life as well as 
human life is made up of smooth places and some 
rough places, and today your friend. Dr. Gander, has 
had it very rough.” 

“Dr. Gander,” said I, “it grieves me very much 
to know you are having trouble. Come, now, tell 
me the whole story and maybe I can help you.” 

“General, today the Jersey cow was running 
around the lot after that sportive son of hers. She 
seemed to be fearful lest the horse would hurt him. 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


83 


She ran through Mrs. Anna Goose’s flock of goslings^ 
and trampled the left leg of little Sammie Gosling, 
breaking it just below the knee. 

“Sammie is out yonder under the tree. He can’t 
walk. Mrs. Young Goose, who lost her own children, 
is sitting there with him. His brothers and sisters 
come and look at him and then run away to eat grass. 
He tries to follow, dragging his broken leg after him 
on the ground. He suffers so much pain, though, 
that he soon sits down on the ground in great dis- 
tress. Mrs. Young Goose, who you know is my 
daughter, has stayed with him nearly all day. Mrs. 
Anna Goose was spiteful at first, but after awhile she 
saw that Mrs. Young Goose was very sorry for 
Sammie Goose and was trying to help him; so she 
did not fight her any more. 

“General, I know a great many things, but I don’t 
know how to help that gosling with the broken leg. 
I hope you will tell me what to do. I heard the man 
who drives the wagon say ‘The best thing to do is to 
kill the little thing.’ This distressed me much. I 
made up my mind if anybody came to take that gos- 
ling away to kill it that I would put up the fight of 
my life. If we cannot get help for him, maybe his 
broken leg will heal. Although he will always be 
lame and limp, that is better than killing the poor 


84 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


little fellow. General, you are said to be a very smart 
man. Can’t you do something for my little son ?” 

“Dr. Gander,” I replied, “it is possible we can 
help you. You tell Mrs. Anna Goose and Mrs. Young 
Goose not to fight me and I’ll take your Sammie boy 
and put some wooden splints around his leg. We will 
adjust some adhesive plaster over these and place 
Sammie Goose in a wire pen with Mrs. Young Goose 
to keep him company. I am sure. Dr. Gander, that 
he will recover.” 

“General, please do all that and I’ll keep his 
mother and Mrs. Young Goose away while you at- 
tend him.” 

So we picked up the gosling. He squawked and 
kicked and pulled and tried to get away, but I 
smoothed his head and said kind things to him. In 
a little while he quieted down. 

With the help of the little girl in the picture we 
put his leg in place. She held him while we put on 
the splints and wrapped it with thread. Over it all 
we put some strips of adhesive plaster. Then we took 
him out in the yard under the tree and Mrs. Young 
Goose came and sat down beside him. 

He sat very still, but when his brothers and 
sisters came up he tried to follow them and their 
mamma as they walked around eating the grass. 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


85 


“Doctor,” said I, “this boy of yours is going to 
get well. His leg will not be shortened and he will 
not be lame. We shall have to put him in a small 
pen with Mrs. Young Goose. My word for it, in two 
weeks he will be trotting around the yard just as 
easily as his brothers and sisters.” 

In a week’s time Dr. Gander again met me at the 
gate. He seemed very happy and evidently wanted 
to talk with me. Waving my hand at him, I said, 
“Come, now. Dr. Gander, out with what pleases you 
so much.” 

“General,” he said, “that Sammie boy of mine is 
almost well. He can limp around first rate, but the 
greatest thing of all is the way Mrs. Young Goose 
has acted. That bird has a big heart in her. She lost 
her two little goslings and she seemed to want some- 
thing to love. She tried lots of times to help take 
care of our seven goslings, but we drove her away. 
When you put this little boy out under the tree she 
came and sat down by him, put her bill over by his, 
and said as plainly as a goose could say, ‘Little man, 
I am sorry for you.’ She has never left him for a 
single moment. Sometimes I saw the chickens fly 
over the wire into the pen where she and Sammie 
were. Then she would fly at those intruders and hiss 
and pull their feathers. She made them all get out 
in a hurry.” 


86 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


“Bumps came out and putting his paws on the 
wire looked over to see what they were doing in the 
pen. Mrs. Young Goose made a rush at him. The 
way she made him get off the wire was a caution. 

“Every night we went out of the yard into the barn 
lot, I felt sorry to leave her and the invalid by them- 
selves. I was afraid some strange dog might come 
about the place and jump over into the pen and hurt 
her and her patient. 

“I told her to ask the woman who keeps the place 
to put her and Sammie inside the lot, but she said 
she was not afraid of any dog; that if one came that 
way she would drive him out of the pen. 

“One night while she got very close to the little 
lame goose I could hear her talking to him. She was 
telling him not to be afraid, that whatever came she 
would take good care of him. I heard him say, ‘Mrs. 
Goose, will you be my mamma when I get well?’ 

“She replied, ‘Sammie, my little boys are dead; 
I’ve no one to love me. Your mother drives me away 
when I come near you. When you get well if you 
want me to be your mamma I’ll be ever so glad to 
have you for my son. I’ll never let anything hurt 
you any more.’ 

“Sometimes, General, that little goose and his 
nurse would talk half the night. She was just as kind 


DR. GANDER OF Y OUNCE AND. 


87 


and good and gentle to him as if he had been her own 
gosling. 

“Three weeks was a long time for a goose to sit 
in a small wire pen. There was no grass in there. 
She and Sammie, I know, missed the soft, tender blue- 
grass out in the yard. They saw us every day eating 
all we wanted, but Mrs. Young Goose never com- 
plained. I do believe, although I would not say as 
much to my wife, that Mrs. Young Goose was just 
as kind to him as his own mother would have been. 

“One night I heard a noise in the pen. Mrs. 
Goose was honking, and I heard a strange dog bark. 
He was right by the pen where Sammie and his 
adopted mother were. I heard the gosling squawk- 
ing. There were hissing and a flapping of wings. 
Our neighbor’s black dog was there and was 
trying to get the sick gosling. I ran to the gate and 
tried to get out. Failing in that I honked for help. 
At last the manager heard us. He rushed out in his 
night clothes with a gun in his hands. He fired this 
and this scared the dog so that he ran away as fast as 
he could go. 

“In three weeks Sammie was all right. He limped 
but could walk. One morning the woman came and 
took him out of the pen. She lifted Mrs. Young 
Goose out, too. Sammie was placed under the cherry 
tree. 


88 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


“In a little while the six goslings all came up to 
see him. They poked out their little heads and 
touched his beak, and all seemed glad that their little 
brother was all right again. 

“We all went marching around the yard nibbling 
the grass, but Sammie and Mrs. Young Goose walked 
by themselves. They went with us as we paraded up 
and down the yard, but they stayed close to each 
other. 

“Look over there, General, at that big young 
goose. He will soon be as large as his adopted 
mother, but he has never forgotten her, and he won’t 
stay with any other goose. He remembers when she 
sat through so many nights with him and how she 
fought off the neighbor’s black dog.” 


CHAPTER XIL 

DR. GANDER AND THE SPOTTED CAT. 

■pASSING a feed store on the way home late one 
afternoon I put a few grains of yellow corn in 
my overcoat pocket. I knew the Doctor would be 
looking for me, and if the corn was on hand ready 
for him it would save a walk to the barn. Sure 
enough I found him waiting under the big catalpa 
tree. 

Calling John Horse to a sudden stop, and throw- 
ing the reins over the dashboard, I stepped out of the 
buggy and patted the goose on the head. “Doctor, 
what news today?” 

“General, I remember the day we all moved here 
the first thing I saw, upon being let out of the coop, 
was the spotted cat. She was washing her face on the 
back porch. You asked the colored man where she 
came from. He said that she ran across the Dixie 
Highway in the morning, and rubbed against his 
foot, and acted as if she wanted to stay. 

“You know. General, colored folk are mighty 
superstitious, especially concerning cats. That 
old colored man said, ‘Boss, don’t you skeer dat cat 
away. You let her stay. When a strange cat comes 
( 89 ) 


90 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


to the house when you move in it means an awful lot 
of good luck, sure.’ 

“General, it grieves me greatlv to inform you 
that misfortune has come to the spotted cat.” 

That was bad news, indeed, for I truly had grown 
fond of Tabby. Such good friends we had become 
that she would often follow me all over the place. 
She would catch a field mouse nearly every time we 
went out, and then she would run proudly in front 
of me and make me take her up in my arms and pet 
her for her achievement. If a dog ran by she would 
scamper to my side, climb to my shoulder until the 
intruder was gone. She never robbed a birds’ nest 
and she never killed my young poultry. 

In the seven years she had been on the farm she had 
reared about seventy-five kittens. She had been a 
good mother. I often watched her move her little 
ones around in the stable. She handled them as ten- 
derly as a human mother would handle a baby. She 
truly deserved no ill fortune, and I said, “Doctor, I 
trust her trouble isn’t serious.” 

He made no answer, but beckoned for me to fol- 
low. 

He conducted me over to the crib and there on a 
soft bed I found the spotted cat. She had evidently 
been caught in a steel trap or run over by the street 


DR. GANDBR OF YOUNGLAND, 


91 


car. Her left hind foot was cut olf and her left fore- 
leg was broken, and dragged on the ground. She 
was suffering severely. Her great gray eyes seemed 
to say, “Can’t you all help me?” She would lick the 
stump of one leg and then lift the other, broken and 
limp. I never felt sorrier for any creature in my life. 

“Doctor,” I said, “this is bad. We must do some- 
thing. I’ll call a physican and he can put a splint on 
the broken leg and cauterize the stump of her other 
leg. 

When the veterinary came he looked at my cat 
and shook his head, saying, “I am afraid she will 
die.” 

However, the physician went to work. He bound 
up the stump of her leg after washing it with iodine 
and put some plaster on it. Then he put some splints 
on the broken leg and wrapped it with adhesive plas- 
ter. The operation completed, we put the cat into a 
box with shavings and rags in the bottom, and in this 
crib we left her for the night. 

Every afternoon Dr. Gander would go with me 
to visit the invalid. It took a long time for her to 
get well, but it soon became apparent that she was 
well on the road to recovery. The veterinarian came 
out three times and people laughed at me for spend- 
ing my money “on a cat;” but Dr. Gander said to me: 
“General, you are doing the kind thing. I heard 


92 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


church people talking about what the Bible says 
about the merciful man, and I think, General, that 
the God you talk about at Sunday School every Sun- 
day won’t forget what a good man does for a good 
cat. Anyhow, General, you will think better of your- 
self for being so nice to a cat that has always loved 
you. Folks may think it foolish. General, but we 
geese will love you more for your goodness.” 

The injured cat was very glad always to see Dr. 
Gander and me. Indeed, she began to watch for our 
daily visit. She would rise up and mew and put 
up her head to have it scratched. When she got 
stronger we took her over to the kitchen and every 
morning and evening gave her a bowl of warm, fresh 
milk. We set two traps out in the barn and caught 
mice for her. After she drank her milk she would 
have a mouse for dessert, and would look up to us 
if it was not immediately forthcoming, as if to say, 
“Please, good friends, where is my mouse to eat?” 

One day I asked Dr. Gander to give her the dead 
mouse. He was plainly frightened. “No, no, my 
dear General, he said; we geese are just like women 
and girls. We are afraid of mice. If they run out 
in the barnyard we run away.” 

“Well, Doctor,” I replied, “I am somewhat sur- 
prised that a big gander like you would be afraid of 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


93 


a little thing like a dead mouse. If you feel as you 
say you do, then I’ll put the mouse in the box for the 
cat.” 

The veterinarian said he was certain the cat 
was as well as she would ever be and he did not 
think it was necessary for him to visit her any more. 

In five or six weeks she could crawl about the 
kitchen and one night she moved back to the stable. 
She seemed to prefer to sleep there where she could 
catch her own meat and have it fresh. 

She never left the farm again. I noticed that 
when she heard the street cars she ran back under the 
trough and hid. 

Plainly, she had learned the truth of the proverb, 
“There’s no place like home.” 


CHAPTER XIIL 

DR. GANDER AND THE BIG BLACK DOG. 

N reaching the farm one day I found Dr. Gander 
in a very bad humor. His feathers were torn 
and there was a wound on his left leg. He did not 
look himself at all. He was downcast and sad look- 
ing, and one of his eyes was greatly swollen. If he 
was glad to see me he did not show it. 

“Doctor,” said I, “you seem to have real trouble. 
What on earth has happened to you? From your 
looks I would think you had been in a cyclone. You 
never carried yourself the way you do now. Don’t 
stand over there by the fence sulking. Come over 
here and get some of your favorite yellow corn and 
tell me what has happened. Out with it. Doctor, for 
if you don’t tell me the manager will. It would be 
far better for me to get it straight from you.” 

It was clear that the Doctor needed comfort. 1 
could not help laughing, though, and this seemed to 
disgruntle him. He said to me quite reproachfully, 
“General, this is no time for laughing. It is not nice 
of you to be so gay about my misfortune.” 

“Doctor,” I replied, “I am very sorry if my laugh- 
ing displeases you. I would not hurt your feelings 
( 94 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOU NO LAND. 


95 


for anything in the world. Til bathe your eye, wash 
your wounds and put some liniment on your leg, and 
if you will only tell me who has mistreated you, I will 
go and thrash him.” 

“General,” the Doctor responded, “last night was 
the most miserable Fve ever had in m3'' life, and if 
you want to hear about it I will relate the whole story. 
You know how much I like the Black Duck. We 
were all sitting here in the barnyard as happy as could 
be. I was down near the chicken house, and Big 
Sis, Anna Goose and the seven goslings were close 
around in a circle. The Black Duck hovered beside 
us, and the other ducks were over by the water 
trough. Little Bumps was nestled in the hay in the 
barn shed. Johnnie Dixie was over by the barn door. 

“Suddenly we heard a fierce barking outside the 
hog-pen. The old sow got out of her bed and walked 
over to the feed basin. The moon was shining as 
bright as day. As we geese got up on our feet, I 
saw a big black dog jump over the pig-pen fence and 
start toward the mother sow. Mother hogs, Gen- 
eral, as you know, are not much afraid of dogs, and 
when the black bulldog started toward her she ran 
at him as hard as she could go. She grunted savagely, 
opened her mouth as wide as she could get it and 
plunged at the dog. He wasn’t expecting such a 
fight, and ran away. He showed himself a coward by 


96 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


fleeing when somebody bigger than he wanted to fight 
him. Mr. Dog jumped over the fence and came out 
into the barnyard. We geese began to honk as loudly 
as we could and the ducks all set up a great quacking. 
Johnnie Dixie ran around the corner of the stable and 
little Bumps ran out of the shed barking. 

“The racket made the big dog angry. He fled 
afraid of pony, who turned around and kicked at him. 
I was standing up and honking excitedly. The dog 
started toward me with his red mouth wide open, 
growling savagely. 

“I had to think and act quickly. I saw I was in for 
a fight. I was ashamed to run away. The whole 
barnyard was looking at me. I thought I heard the 
Wyandotte rooster laugh as he peeped out of the win- 
dow of the henhouse. He seemed to be saying, ‘Dr. 
Gander, you thrashed me, but this big black dog 
is now going to eat you alive.’ Although it was 
near midnight the rooster gave a loud crow. He was 
up on his perch, where the dog could not get him. 

“I had either to run away like a coward or I had 
to fight the dog, who weighs twice as much as I do, 
and who has long sharp teeth. Lifting myself up 
on my toes I flapped my wings and made a rush for 
the dog, half flying and half running. The brute ap- 
peared to want a fight, and when I saw his eyes glar- 



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DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


97 


ing like balls of fire and his mouth open and red as 
blood, and his long white teeth, I half relented. 

“We clashed with a rush. At the first impact I was 
knocked fiat of my back. The dog caught my left 
leg in his mouth and crushed it so that I cried with 
pain. My head was bruised and one eye blackened by 
the fall. Taking advantage of his opportunity the 
dog seized one of my wings in his jaws. 

“It looked. General, as if it were all over with me. 
I thought you would never see your gander friend 
again. I was in a dreadful plight. The goslings and 
their mammy ran away under the wagon and the 
ducks, quacking for dear life, flew and ran under the 
crib. 

“Just when it looked darkest for me Johnnie 
Dixie ran up to the scene of battle. The pony 
squealing shrilly reached down and caught the dog 
by the back of the neck. The savage beast was great- 
ly surprised and let me loose. Johnnie Dixie wheeled 
and gave the dog a lusty kick with his hind feet. 
Mr. Bulldog picked himself up about six feet way. 
At this moment little Bumps darted in and bit one 
of the bulldog’s hind legs. While this was happening 
Johnnie Dixie renewed the attack. Right on the dog 
he again whirled and kicked as hard as he could. His 
heels reached their mark, and. General, I heard Mr. 
Dog’s ribs crack like breaking sticks. 


98 


DR. GANDER OP YOUN GLAND. 


*‘This altogether was too much for the cowardly 
cur. He sneaked away and hid under the big wagon, 
being so sore and bruised that he could not jump over 
the fence where he had come into the lot. He lay 
on some straw all night and moaned until day broke. 
At daybreak the manager discovered him under the 
wagon. He seized a pitchfork and started toward 
the intruder, who got up and limped away through 
the gate over to the neighbor’s where he belonged. 

“I am a little ashamed of my part in the fight, 
General. I’ve been telling these barnyard friends of 
mine what a big fighter I am, and I fear they will no 
longer regard me as a brave goose. 

“Please tell them that Dr. Gander did the best that 
could be done under all the circumstances, and that 
he was after all a brave goose to attempt to fight a 
bulldog.” 


CHAPTER XIV. 

DR. GANDER AND THE BLACK DUCK. 

had out on the farm a Wild Black Mallard 
~ ~ Duck. Her kind are not very plentiful where 
Dr. Gander lived. She was coal black, with one white 
feather on each wing, and her head was a deep green. 
She weighed six pounds. 

Some time before I had heard that a boy in Shelby 
County had a black duck; so I sent a man to see what 
truth there was in the story. He came back and said 
the boy had such a duck and would sell her for $3.00. 
I wrote the boy to send it down. In the meantime 
the boy learned that I wanted it and he said that he 
would not sell her for less than $6.00. I told the man 
I must have the black duck, and to send on the $6.00. 
This he did, and in a few days she came. She was a 
great beauty, the prettiest duck I had ever seen. 

After many efforts I tamed her so that she 
would eat out of my hand. We taught her to slip 
around to my back while the other ducks and geese 
were eating out of my right hand; then I would put 
my left hand behind me full of wheat or corn and 
Miss Blackie would go around where the other ducks 
could not see her and get all she could eat. She 
( 99 )' 


100 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


always had an appetite. She could gobble up a half- 
pint of watermelon or canteloupe seed, and she could 
put away two or three handfuls of corn or wheat. She 
was a persistent layer, beating the Indian Runner 
ducks in the number of eggs she produced. She al- 
ways sat twice a year and hatched out a lot of lit- 
tle black ducklings just like herself. She knew her 
name, and when I called “Come on. Black Duckie, 
come on and see me,” she would run quacking to 
where I was and would appear very glad to meet her 
friend. 

“Doctor,” said I, “we are both fond of the black 
duck. You’ve learned something of duck talk since 
you’ve been friends with Blackie. Find out who she 
is and where she came from, and then come and tell 
me what she knows of herself.” 

In about a week the Doctor called me aside and 
said, “General, I’ve got Blackie’s story for you, and 
when you are ready for it let me know.” 

“Ah, Doctor,” said I, “you are very kind and 
prompt. I will get a pencil and you tell what you 
know and I’ll dot it down for the book I am writing 
about you.” 

“Book, did you say?” replied the Doctor. “Gen- 
eral, are you writing a book about me?” 

“Yes, Doctor, I am surely writing a book about 
you. I am certain you are the smartest gander in th< 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


101 


world, and I want everybody to know how learned 
3^ou are/’ 

“General,” said the Doctor, “if you are writing 
a book please tell me what is its title and what you 
are going to say about me.” 

“The title of the book. Doctor,” said I, “is ‘Dr. 
Gander.’ It tells about the talks we’ve had and all 
the things you have told me about these comrades 
of yours in the barnyard, and how you live and the 
troubles you’ve had while here on the place. I will 
tell about Mary Goose dying and the gosling getting 
killed and your fighting our battles.” 

This seemed to please the Doctor very much. He 
said, “General, when is the book about me coming 
out?” 

“Doctor,” said I, “this no man can tell, but it will 
not be very long before it is published, and when it is 
I’ll come out and read the book to you and let you 
hear all the things I’ve said about you.” The Doc- 
tor said that would be splendid and he supposed he 
would be a very famous goose. 

“Yes, Doctor, you will be, I think, the best 
known goose in the world, and many hundreds of 
people will love and admire you greatly.” 

“General,” the Doctor said, “we geese are just 
like you humans; we like to be flattered. I am glad 


102 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


so many people will hear and read about me. Please, 
General, don’t forget to tell them how I whipped the 
Wyandotte rooster and the old sow.” 

“To be sure I will, Doctor, for I agree with you 
that in the fight with the sow you were very brave. 
I hope also to tell them about the fight you had 
with that bulldog in the barnyard the night he killed 
Blackie’s children. But tell me what the Black Duck 
revealed to you.” 

“•Well, General, she does not know a great deal 
about herself,” answered the Doctor, “but the best I 
can make out of Blackie’s story is this : Her mother 
and father lived in Florida in the winter. They ate 
fish, crabs and berries while in the South, and about 
the first of March of every year they came North to 
rear their children. Once when they were flying 
over Kentucky they alighted on a pond to rest awhile, 
and while there swimming on the pond and diving 
down to catch sunfish, a boy slipped up behind the 
fence with a shotgun and killed her father and broke 
the wing of her mother. All the other ducks, about 
fifty in number, flew away, but her poor mother could 
not fly, and they left her in the pond. The boy was 
very glad to catch her. He kept her on the pond and 
watched everybody that came around. 

“He told them not to shoot her mother. She tells 
me that her mother made a nest out under some brush 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


103 


that was piled up on the edge of the pond and laid 
eggs. Every time she got off the nest to swim and 
catch fish she would cover the eggs with feath- 
ers and straw, and in twenty-eight days she hatched 
out nine ducklings. Blackie tells me all the rest were 
speckled or spotted, but she was black. Her mother 
could never go away. She lived on the pond, and 
when her children were four weeks old they were all 
taken up to the house and put in the yard with the 
other ducks. Blackie says that a great many people 
came to see her because she was black, and she lived 
there on the farm until you brought her here. She 
says that when the boy caught her and put her into 
the box with slats on it she was frightened. She 
thought they were going to kill her. She never got 
over her fright until the expressman put the box 
down in your yard, and you spoke so kindly to her 
and put some corn in the box. She says you told 
everybody to be good to her and she is glad now that 
the boy sold her. She does not want to go back to 
where she was born. She says she does not know 
why she was born black and all her brothers and 
sisters were born speckled. 

“That,” the Doctor said, “is about all I can get 
out of Blackie. She don’t talk much goose and I 
don’t talk much duck. I am picking duck up a little. 


104 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


and if I hear anything more about Blackie I will tell you 
what it is.” 

“Doctor,” said I, “it was very kind of you to tell 
me about my black duck. I think she is the cutest 
duck in the world. She has had a good many nice 
little black ducklings, but none of them are as hand- 
some as their mother. I wish you would take the best 
care of her. They say that ducks don’t amount to 
very much after they are three years old. Ladies 
don’t like to have it known how old they are, but my 
black duck is not so particular about her age. I think 
she is about seven years old. That is very old for a 
duck; you geese live to be real old, but it is not so 
with ducks. I don’t care, however, Doctor, how old 
the black duck is, nobody can buy her. To tell the 
truth. Doctor, you and the black duck are two things 
no man’s money could buy. In fact, I would not take 
$100 apiece for you two. Likewise Ted and Bumps 
and the spotted cat would be pretty hard to buy; in 
fact, I don’t think. Doctor, I would part with any of 
my friends around here. I hope we will all live to- 
gether for a long time and be always a happy family.” 

The Doctor gave a loud honk and started to move 
away as if he felt very happy and proud. Then he 
came back and said: “General, please don’t you die* 
nobody will ever treat me and my friends out here 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


105 


like you have done. No stranger can love me like 
you do, and, General, we geese don’t know how to 
pray like you humans do. We’ve no God, we geese; 
but won’t you be sure to ask your God to let you live 
as long as I do?” 

I assured the Doctor that I had no idea of dying, 
and that for his sake I would do my best to live many 
years to protect and feed him. 

After this he went away to Mrs. Goose and their 
children. He appeared very happy at what I had 
said. 


CHAPTER XV. 

DR. GANDER AND THE PET PIGS. 

^OMING home from the office on a warm 
^ summer afternoon rather earlier than usual, I 
saw Dr. Gander under the big catalpa tree. He held 
his head very high, and was talking in a loud voice. 
It was apparent that something had disturbed him 
mightily. As usual, he was quite glad to see me, but 
he did not chatter and honk very enthusiastically. 

As we walked toward the stable lot he pointed 
out two pet pigs and gave me to understand in his 
goose language that these had done him a grievous 
wrong. 

These pigs were special pets of the family. By 
the care of the manager’s wife they had been saved 
from death by slow starvation, and their preservation 
had resulted in their receiving much attention from 
all the folk on the farm. From puny, starving pig- 
lings they had grown to be fat, saucy, playful young 
hogs. They had gotten so strong that they crowded 
out the chickens, ducks and even brushed Dr. Gander 
aside. They did not mind the barking of Bumps and 
Princess, the Collie, and one day the red one opened 
his mouth and started to bite Bumps. The little dog 
( 106 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


107 


had to run away as fast as his short legs could carry 
him. He made a rush for a hole in the yard fence 
and he just had time to jump through as the pig 
snapped at his tail. When Bumps got the fence be- 
tween them he suddenly regained his courage and 
furiously barked defiance. The pig looked at the 
little dog with a grin, as much as to say, “You 
cowardly cur. T made you fly through, even if now 
you do appear so brave.” 

I did not think that Dr. Gander knew much about 
pigs, but he soon enlightened me. “General,” he 
said, “I knew the mother of those two pigs when 
she was quite small. She had four sisters and four 
brothers, and they were a queer family. Of the nine 
pigs in the litter no two were alike. Two were red, 
two were black, one the color of an elephant. The 
others were ring-streaked and striped, and one al- 
most black had a white stripe around his body. They 
were the most curiously colored lot that I ever saw. 
The mother said they were brothers and sisters, but 
it was very hard for me to believe the story. 

“Those two little chaps you see running around 
so big now did not get very much to eat. When they 
were babies every day I would peep over the fence to 
see how they were getting on. They did not seem 
to grow at all; indeed, as I looked at it, they were 
getting thinner every hour they lived. They walked 


108 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


as if they were a hundred years old. Their skins 
drew up and they tottered as they followed Mother 
Hog around the lot. It looked as if they would die 
very soon. 

‘T was listening. General, when you told the man- 
ager’s wife that it would be a great pity to let these 
poor pigs starve to death. You recalled that you had 
once nourished nine little rabbits with a baby’s bottle 
and that they grew to be very lusty. You told her 
that she ought to try to save their lives; that if they 
lived she might have them for her own. 

‘T watched you, General, when you picked up 
one black one in your hand. Mother hogs generally 
squeal a protest and try to bite you if you handle their 
pigs, but their mother did not even grunt when you 
took that little poor starving pig in your hands to 
carry him away to the house. She seemed to be glad 
to get rid of it. It was so weak that it could not 
squeal as other pigs do when you pick them up. It 
lay over on its side and half-closed its eyes. I thought 
it was going to die. 

“You put it in a basket and carried it up to the lot 
and then you made a small pen and laid it in a box 
in some straw. I was watching and listening all the 
time. While you went up to the house to get the baby 
bottle I stayed with the invalid. I was standing by 
when you told the manager’s wife to drive the cow 


DR. GANDER OF YOU N GLAND. 


1G9 


in the stall and milk a few spoonfuls for the pig. You 
told her it must be warm; that if she fed it cold milk 
it would surely die. 

“It looked so funny, General, to see an old soldier 
and a big lawyer feeding a sick pig out of a baby bot- 
tle that I had a good laugh. I did not let you hear 
me because I thought it might hurt your feelings. 
You are too good and kind. General, for me to do 
anything to give you distress; so I waited until you 
turned around and poured the milk into the bottle 
and then, as the colored folks say, ‘I jest laffed.’ 

“I saw you put your finger in his mouth and hold 
his jaws open and then insert the nipple of the nurs- 
ing bottle. When the pig first felt the warm milk 
on his tongue he looked up in the gladdest way I ever 
saw. I laughed again behind your back. General, 
when you laid Mr. Pig down on the straw and said 
to him, ‘Piggy baby, I guess you’ve had enough for 
this time.’ 

“He stretched straight out on his stomach, shut 
his eyes and took a nap. He seemed so happy and 
contented that I slipped over to his box and kept the 
flies off of him while he slept. I wanted to do some- 
thing for the pig to show you that geese have good 
hearts, the same as men and women. 

“I became much interested in the sick pig and so 
I lingered around the gate. After you had eaten your 


no 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


breakfast you came out and asked the manager’s 
wife to go and get some more fresh milk for the lit- 
tle black pig. When she complied, you refilled the 
bottle and placed the nipple in the pig’s mouth again. 
This time, General, he took hold real hard, and you 
said, after a minute, ‘there, now, Mr. Pig; you have 
had enough for this time.’ 

“General, this black pig lay around for several 
days. I heard the manager tell his wife that she 
could not save the pig. 

“He said, ‘Whenever a pig gets like that it al- 
ways dies.’ But you told her to continue her efforts-, 
that ‘while there’s life there’s hope.’ You recalled 
that when you were a small boy your father had given 
you a runt pig, and that you had fed him and saved 
him by giving him plenty of milk. You said that the 
pig made a big hog and you sold it for fourteen dol- 
lars and bought you a Sunday suit of clothes with the 
money. 

“I also remember. General, that in four days you 
took charge of the red pig. You said it was starving, 
too. When you laid it down in the box by the side 
of its black brother I am sure they were the scraw- 
niest pair of pigs that anybody had ever seen. You 
told the manager’s wife to get some milk and warm 
it for the little refugee. When you put the milk on 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


Ill 


its tongue it snapped its jaws as if to say, ‘Please, 
good man, give me some more.’ He was given three 
spoonfuls more and lay down for a nap. He seemed 
to be feeling good. About this time. General, the 
black pig awakened and coming over close by 
his brother lay down by his side. 

“Thus cared for at your behest the two derelicts 
grew rapidly and soon became strapping hogs. If 
ever anyone should always have shown themselves 
kind and gentle, it was they. 

“Today, however, while Mrs. Anna Goose and the 
young ones were nibbling grass in the manager’s 
yard, that red pig began racing up and down the yard 
with his black brother, apparently not caring where 
he ran, and tramped on Johnnie Gosling. For a while 
I was sure Johnnie had been killed. However, he 
soon showed signs of recovery, although he could 
only crawl. He had lost the use of one leg. I honked 
as loudly as I could, and flapped my long wings, 
making such a noise that manager’s wife came rush- 
ing out into the yard. Picking up Johnnie Goose and 
holding him in her hand, she scolded the red pig most 
severely. He did not seem to mind it even a little 
bit. I wanted to pull his ear, but. General, the pig 
now weighs fifty pounds. That is two and a half 
times as much as I weigh. I know he is not only 


112 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


stronger than I, but, General, he can outbite me. 
Recalling a big fight I had with the black sow once 
on a time, I thought it was better for me to keep 
out of battles with hogs. So I told the manager’s 
wife to get a big stick and beat the red pig. She did 
this, and it made me feel good when I saw her slap 
him on the back with the stick. He squealed and ran 
away under the coal house. 

“The manager’s wife then took Johnnie Goose 
and put him in a basket. Covering him up with rags 
to keep him warm she laid him down by the kitchen 
stove. After bathing his back she put some iodine on 
the place where the pig had bruised the skin. She 
told me to go on out in the yard and if my son showed 
sings of relapse she would call me. Joining me in the 
yard later, she told me she had a message for the pigs. 
‘Young men,’ she said to them, ‘you are getting too 
big to run around in the lot with ducks, chickens, gos- 
lings and little chickens. I’ll just put you in a pen 
over back of the barnyard. You won’t get out any 
more until you learn how to behave yourselves.’ 

“They’re in their prison now,” finished Dr. Gander, 
“and I hope they’ll remain there until they learn to 
be good pig’s.” 


CHAPTER XVI. 

DR. GANDER AND MR. GUINEA. 

T N the early spring I had bought three guineas. I 
thought they were male and two females, but the 
Doctor discovered that they were all females. 

He told me this one day as we were walking down 
in the grapery. 

“Doctor,” I said, “to tell you the truth, I do not 
know a male from a female. Pray, how did you find 
out that all my guineas are women?” 

“General,” he replied, “we bird people watch these 
things pretty closely. I know that men folks always 
fight more than women folks. You never hear of 
women boasting of their strength and courage; they 
don’t drink whisky and get quarrelsome. 

“These guineas you have don’t quarrel or fight the 
hens or ducks or dogs very much, but if you should 
bring a male here he would have a dozen fights in a 
day. The male guinea is courageous, he will tackle 
a dog or a rooster when he fears for his family. He 
is so quick that his opponents don’t have time to pre- 
pare for him. You know, General, that’s half the 
battle. j 


( 113 ) 


114 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


“When I am going to fight a dog or hog or a 
rooster or pony I try to attack them before they have 
time to get ready. You remember, don’t you, how 
I made a certain yellow dog yelp? He raised his 
bristles and squatting down growled at me most im- 
pudently. Before he had time to jump on me I flew 
at him, caught him by the ear and hit him a smash 
with my wing. He was so surprised that he yelped 
and ran home as fast as he could go. I haven’t seen 
him over here since. 

“General, you have some red pigs out here in the 
pig-sty that I don’t like. One got out the other day. 
He would weigh, I would guess, about sixty pounds. 

“He came around to the water trough where my 
children were drinking and drove them away. I said 
to myself, ‘Mr. Pig, you have struck the wrong cus- 
tomer; I am Dr. Gander, of Youngland, and I’ll 
punch your nose for you. I’ll teach you to let honest 
folk alone.’ So I ran at him with my mouth open, and 
I hissed and honked as loudly as I could. Then I 
struck him between his eyes. You ought to have 
seen that pig run. He squealed and put his tail be- 
tween his legs and hid over in the stable in a stall 
with the big black horse. 

“My way of fighting. General, if I have to 
fight, is to get the first blow at the other fellow, and 
then I am almost sure to win.” 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


115 


“My dear Doctor/' I answered, “you are just a 
little too fond of talking about yourself; pray, drop 
that now and tell me what you know about guineas/* 

“General," replied the Doctor, “they tell me that 
you talk a good deal about yourself, and since I’ve 
been telling these stories and you put them in the 
newspapers, I am a pretty important goose. I hear 
people who pass here say, ‘That is where Dr. Gander 
lives,’ and I heard someone say that a letter came the 
other day addressed to you care of ‘Dr. Gander, 
Youngland, Ky.’ 

“I hope. General, you are big enough not to be- 
grudge your friend Dr. Gander some of the celebrity 
you have so long enjoyed.’’ 

“Doctor, you can rest easy on that score. It’s a 
pleasant thing to have here the smartest goose in 
the world. I don’t mind people stopping out here 
on the Dixie Highway and looking over in the yard 
and saying, ‘This is where Dr. Gander lives;’ but 
since you have spoken about it I will own up that 
sending the letter here addressed ‘Care of Dr. Gan- 
der’ did embarrass me a wee bit. 

“After all. Doctor, fame is an uncertain thing. I 
surely shall not be jealous of my dear friend Dr. Gan- 
der, with whom for fourteen years I’ve had such inti- 
mate and kindly acquaintance, even if the world 


116 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


thinks he is the most distinguished person who lives 
here. 

“But to revert to the guineas, Doctor, did you 
know that guineas were first heard of about 2,500 
years ago. Among ancient peoples young guineas 
were thought a delicacy. They get their name from 
the Island of Guinea, on the coast of Africa, and they 
were brought from that island to America, where 
they were domesticated. They are said to have a 
game taste that greatly pleases those who love wild 
birds for food. They are not altogether hardy like 
chickens, ducks and turkeys, for three of mine froze 
last winter. I know that guinea hens lay from 
eighteen to twenty-five eggs; they hide their nests 
with great care in bushes, weeds or vines. It takes 
the eggs twenty-eight days to hatch.’’ 

“General,” said Dr. Gander, “you get what you 
know from books and I get what I know from living 
with and watching guineas. You talk about guineas 
being heard of 2,500 years ago — why, that compares 
with us geese. We saved Rome 2,300 years ago. 
We were there watching over the city and we 
awakened the Roman soldiers who went to sleep at 
their posts. 

“A guinea goes to sleep and he sleeps from eight 
to ten hours every night. We geese sleep much less 
than that. One of us always stays awake to watch. 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


117 


A guinea hears well, but not as well as we geese. 
It always roosts in a tree or in a house, but we geese 
roost on the ground. That gives us the best chance 
to know what is going on. A guinea oftentimes gives 
a false alarm, but we geese never make that mistake. 
A guinea can see better than we do at night, but 
he cannot hear so well. At night it’s the hearing that 
counts most, and when it comes to hearing, we geese 
rank high.” 

“How about egg-producing. Doctor?” I meekly 
inquired. 

“General,” Dr. Gander replied, “a guinea is a 
powerful layer when she once gets down to that part 
of her business. She can beat a goose, a hen or duck. 
However, she doesn’t lay eggs for a very long time. 
She begins some time in June. She makes her nest 
in the most out-of-the-way places, and she lays an 
egg every day, but doesn’t cover them. 

“The shells of her eggs are thicker and harder 
than hen, duck or goose eggs. She lays from 
eighteen to twenty-five, and then she goes to sitting 
like a partridge. She will almost always hatch every 
egg. You never saw a spoiled partridge egg, and I’ve 
watched, and I never saw a spoiled guinea egg. 

“A guinea is fastidious about her nest. If any- 
thing touches it, moves an egg or tears up any part 


118 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


of it, Mrs. Guinea goes away in disgust and never 
comes back. Sometimes a hen or duck will sneak 
in and lay in a guinea’s nest. Mrs. Guinea forthwith 
leaves the nest and eggs to the intruder and never 
comes back. 

“When the little guineas are hatched Mrs. Guinea 
won’t let one of them go out of the nest for two 
days. When they are forty-eight hours old she gives 
them a big deal. That is all they will get for quite a 
long while. Then later they begin to eat grass and 
weed seed, flies and bugs. They hide in the weeds 
or grass if anybody comes around, and they never 
come out until their mother tells them the danger 
is over.” 

“But, Doctor, what is the father guinea doing 
all this time? Has he no duties while his wife is 
so busy?” 

“General, he is a devoted father. When Mrs. 
Guinea begins to sit he goes to see her several times 
a day, and he never goes very far from where she is. 
If a dog, cat or anything else comes around he be- 
gins to ‘kay! kay! kay!’ at a furious rate, and if it 
gets too close to the nest he does not hesitate to fight 
like a soldier. When he is defending Mrs. Guinea or 
the little guineas he is as brave a bird as ever had 
feathers on. He will fight anything, and for a 


DR. GANDER OF YOU N GLAND. 


119 


five-pounder there’s nothing gamer that I’ve ever 
seen in action. 

“When the young guineas are hatched it is then 
Mr. Guinea is at his best. He takes charge of his 
children; he hovers them under his feathers to keep 
them warm or keep off the rain and he relieves 
Mother Guinea of most of their care. She takes a 
rest after her long service on the nest. Mr. Guinea 
never complains, but stays right with his children. 
Every night he takes part of them to sleep under his 
wing. Incidentally, I might say, his wife lets him 
keep the bigger half. 

“It’s when the guinea children begin to fly up on 
the trees to roost that the daddy does the most. He 
flies up and down from the tree and he calls to the 
3 ^oung ones to imitate him. When at last they get 
courage to do as he requests, he takes all he can cover 
under him and then gets four or five more on each 
side. Throughout the night no mother is ever more 
careful of her babies than is Father Guinea. 

“When the children are about a month old Mrs. 
Guinea begins to think about some more children. 
She does not say much to her husband, and not a 
word to the young folk. Every day about 12 o’clock 
she slips away from her family, and when she has 
picked out a nice quiet place in the bushes she gathers 


120 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


some leaves, arranges a place to lay and soon has 
fifteen eggs more in the nest. 

*‘She tells Daddy Guinea to take good care of the 
children, and then she begins to sit again. The 
young people may wonder where their mother has 
gone, but neither she nor her husband tell, lest the 
first set of children want to get in the nest with her. 

“In twenty-eight days after she quits the family 
she comes out of the weeds with another brood of 
young ones. She then tells Mr. Guinea that she is 
done with her older children; that he must look after 
them, and that neither he or the older children must 
come around where she and the younger brothers and 
sisters are. 

“Mr. Guinea says this is all right, but the young 
folk don’t take to it so kindly. They come around 
the new brothers and sisters. Mrs. Guinea will have 
none of them, but she orders them away. If they 
don’t go she pecks them on their heads and necks.” 

“Doctor,” I said, “what you have told me about 
Mr. and Mrs. Guinea gives me a very good opinion of 
them. I wish you would keep on watching and tell me 
more about them, for from what you have said they 
have grown very much in my good opinion. Does Mr. 
Guinea Man ever fight you?” 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


121 


“Oh, no, General,” said the Doctor, “he knows 
better than that. I whipped the Wyandotte rooster 
who weighs twelve pounds, and if Mr. Guinea tried 
a fight on me I would make short work of him.” 

“Doctor,” said I, “you have interested me very 
much. Here’s a big handful of yellow corn which you 
can have for your supper.” 

He ate the corn and walked off to Mrs. Goose 
and the children, seeming very proud that he had 
told me something I did not know. 


CHAPTER XVIL 

DR. GANDER AND THE TOWN GOSLINGS. 

/^N reaching home a little early one afternoon I 
sat down on the iron bench under the big lean- 
ing catalpa tree and cried out: “Come on, come on, 
Doctor; come on.” Although calling several times 
there was no response. Usually the Doctor answer- 
ing promptly came half running half flying to greet 
me. He had picked up the habit lately of slipping 
off to the pond for a swim. I imagined he was down 
in the meadow and would come around after awhile. 
He generall}'^ answered it mattered not where he 
was. He could hear me an eighth of a mile and I 
him a quarter of a mile, but this time I received no 
answer. 

I cried out several times again: “Come on, come 
on. Doctor; come on,” but the Doctor did not come. 
I began to be very uneasy lest something had hap- 
pened to him. 

A quarter of an hour passed. At the end of that 
time I saw the Doctor coming from behind the big 
mock orange bush. He did not give a sound of 
recognition. His head was not held high as was his 
habit, and he traveled about half as fast as he was 
( 122 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


123 


accustomed to move. There was no need of an 
interpreter to tell me that something had gone awry 
with him. 

I exclaimed: “You old rascal, where have you 
been hiding, and what do you mean by not answer- 
ing me?” 

“I am not ofifended. General,” he said. “You have 
been too good for me ever to think hard of you or 
even to pout about anything that may pass be- 
tween us.” 

“I do hope. Doctor,” I answered, “that you have 
not been in another fight. It’s about time you had 
become a gander of peace and joined an anti-war 
society. You have been fighting now in various ways 
for ten years. You have many scars and you have 
lost a great many feathers. It’s time to settle down 
and raise the white flag to the whole world for all 
time to come.” 

“General, these are kind wishes, and no doubt 
you mean well, but I am not ready by a good deal 
to give up fighting for my rights. I intend to make 
it hot for anything or anybody that steps on my 
toes. 

“What would happen to me if I let that Wyan- 
dotte rooster come strutting up to stick his big spurs 
into my side or let Bumps the dog pull my wing, 
or Princess the Collie knock me down, or Johnnie 


124 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


Dixie the pony run over or kick me, or that Wyan- 
dotte hen peck me, or that black dog from the neigh- 
bor’s bite me. Oh, no. General, that was not the way 
you acted when a tramp came up to the kitchen, 
insulted the cook and cursed before your wife. Have 
you forgotten how you went out and said to him: 
‘Young man, what are you doing here, and where 
did you come from, and what do you want?’ 

“He answered, ‘It’s none of your business where 
I came from or what I am doing here.’ And you 
said, ‘Young man. I’ll make it my business. If you 
are hungry I’ll give you something to eat; if you 
are thirsty I’ll give you something to drink; if you 
haven’t any clothes I’ll give you something to wear; 
but we won’t have any of your impudence or loud 
talking. This is my place and we cannot have tramps 
around the house or have those women folk insulted 
by people like yourself. You must leave here at once 
if you can’t behave.’ And then he talked back at 
you, and you walked over to where he was and 
caught him by the coat collar and turned him toward 
the gate and told him to get away as quickly as pos- 
sible, and if he did not you would call the county 
policeman. 

“This big strapping young fellow put his hand 
behind him, and I thought he was going to hurt you. 
But you did not seem to be scared, yet I was. You 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND 


125 


said to him, ‘My friend, in Kentucky the law is that 
when a person when quarreling puts his right hand 
behind him to his hip pocket that means he is go- 
ing to shoot, and if you think of doing that this will 
prove a very bad business for you.’ You motioned 
him towards the gate, and. General, I was ever 
so glad when he went away. I am thinking all the 
time what would become of us if anything happened 
to you.” 

“By the way. Doctor,” I said, “that reminds me 
of some bad news which came yesterday. You will 
recall I told you that if trouble ever came I had 
arranged it for all my barnyard friends so they would 
be well cared for, and said, you, the Black Duck and 
Johnnie Dixie the pony were to go and live with a 
young farmer in Shelby County, Kentucky. I was 
much distressed. Doctor, to learn that my young 
friend had been stricken with paralysis and died in 
two days. So now I will have to make other arrange- 
ments, for I could never bear to have you and the 
Black Duck killed and sent to market. I have made 
an arrangement with the Public Park people that 
if I died before you and Blackie they are to keep you 
out at the park, let you swim in the big lake over 
there, and be fed and looked after all your days.” 

“General,” replied the Doctor, “I don’t want to 
change the subject, but the fact is, that I am worried 


126 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


about some more of my children’s doings. Our chil- 
dren worry our hearts very sorely. 

“One day, General, when it was cold and rainy 
our goslings were all drawn up in their backs. They 
could hardly walk after their mother. Y ou came along 
with a basket and picked up the sick, cold goslings 
and told the manager’s wife you were going to take 
them to the city and have the cook raise them in the 
cellar. When they grew big and strong you said you 
would bring them back. ■ 

“General, I did not like this a bit. The little gos- 
lings cried to me to come and help them. I loved 
them much, and it looked hard that a good, kind man 
like )^ou would rob us of our children. 

“I knew you would do the right thing, though 
Mrs. Goose and I concluded that fighting you would 
not help things. We went back into the stable shed 
where Mrs. Goose had her nest when she hatched 
our children. There we put our bills together and 
had a big cry. We sat there together all night 
feeling that for good goose people we had surely 
had more than our share of troubles. It was 
not much better the next morning. General; but 
every day, like all troubles, it got lighter. We con- 
cluded that we would try to raise some more chil- 
dren and have them hatch out during the summer 
when it was warm. Then you would not carry them 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


127 


away and rear them in a cellar. We did this, and 
the next time you let us rear our goslings ourselves. 

“I listened, General, to learn what had become 
of the little fellows you took away in the basket. I 
heard you tell the manager that the biggest one died 
from eating too many violet leaves, and that you 
buried him in the garden. The others you said were 
doing well and would come out to the farm to see 
us all. 

“The other day you brought them home, great 
big, fat fellows, just getting their feathers. Mrs. 
Goose and I felt proud of our town children. You 
put them in the pen down by the hired man’s house 
and told his wife to watch them, let nothing hurt 
them and to give them all the water they could drink 
and all the cornmeal and lettuce they could eat. 

“General, to be honest with you, this hurt Mrs. 
Goose’s and my feelings very much. You took the 
goslings from us and we thought you ought to have 
brought them back to us. This was not like you, my 
good friend. You have always been just. 

“I have been over to see those goslings many 
times. I’ve tried all the goose language a gander 
knows,' and though they have our blood in their 
bodies, they don’t seem to understand, and I might 
just as well talk German. But let that colored wo- 
man come out of the house and say, ‘Where s my 


128 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


chillen?’ they poke out their heads and run up to 
her as if they adored her. They do nothing all day 
but eat. She gives them cornmeal dough, lettuce and 
water and they never seem to care for their real father 
and mother when we are standing right by calling 
them. 

“Why, General, that black woman, who they seem 
to think is their mother, puts them in a box to sleep 
every night. Whoever heard of a goose sleeping in 
a box? The, coldest night last winter Mrs. Goose and 
I never thought of going into a shed. We squatted 
down on the ground to keep our feet warm, but we 
did not go inside, even though the thermometer was 
eight degrees below zero. 

“There’s only one thing can drive us into a house 
and that’s a cyclone. When the wind comes rushing 
along eighty to one hundred miles an hour it gets 
under our wings, lifts us up, and, blowing from one 
side, it turns us over. The first thing we know we 
are lying on the ground. When we are caugrht thus 
we can’t get up. We have to stay this way until the 
storm passes by. 

“I have been through four cyclones. General, and 
I am getting pretty well acquainted with them. 
Whenever I see a big black cloud looking like a funnel 
and hear the roar of the wind I run into the shed and 
sit down under wagon or cider press until the storm 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


129 


passes by. Ducks and turkeys haven’t any cyclone 
sense, but chickens and birds have, and they hunt a 
place to hide until the danger is past. 

“But to go back to those town goslings you 
brought out here. I cannot understand them at all.” 

“Doctor,” I replied, “I am sorry you are so disap- 
pointed with your city-bred children. If you and 
Mrs. Goose had kept them they would all have died. 
You will recall that you let three babies go out into 
the cold rain when they were only three days old and 
they got chilled and died. That always kills a very 
young gosling. You and Mrs. Goose ought to have 
kept them back under the shed until it quit raining. 
The fact is. Doctor, the present Mrs. Goose has not 
as much sense about rearing children as Mrs. Mary 
Goose, whom we buried down under the peach tree, 
and for whom you grieved so sorely. I did not want 
those children of yours to die. That was why I took 
them away. They will get over these town notions 
after awhile, and they will be so clever that you will 
yet be both proud and fond of them. 

“Doctor, I’ll tell you how we will fix this affair. 
I’ll build a pen down by the pond. Every morning 
you and Mrs. Goose can go down inside the pen. 
You can teach them to swim and dive and eat the 
lily buds that grow around the pen. I’ll give you my 
word that in a week those town cellar goslings will 


130 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


not look at the black cook. They will follow you and 
Mrs. Goose everywhere you go. They will grow so 
fast that you will be as proud of these goslings as 
any you ever reared.” 

“That sounds all right,” said the Doctor, “but 
when will you build the pen?” 

“Today,” I replied, “Fll have it ready tomorrow 
morning. We’ll begin their goose schooling at once.” 

We carried the goslings down in a basket the 
first morning, but that night we made them walk 
back. The Doctor led the procession and Mrs. Goose 
brought up the rear. The next morning we drove 
them down to the pen beside the pond and they all 
had a most happy day. On the third day the proces- 
sion marched off by itself. We were very careful to 
hunt for turtles in that part of the pond enclosed with 
wire in the pen. We could not afford to have turtles 
eat our little hand-raised town birds. 

By the fourth day the cook was forsaken. The 
goslings were only too glad to follow Doctor Gander 
and Mrs. Goose everywhere they went. 

The cook was offended at first, but as there had 
just been hatched twenty-nine wild mallard ducks, I 
gave her those to care for and promised her fifty 
cents for every one alive at the end of six weeks. She 
reared them all except one a pup killed, and I paid 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


131 


her $14.00. She was more than satisfied. The Doc- 
tor and Mrs. Goose were also much pleased. 

After the Doctor had firmly established himself 
in the hearts of his babies he came to me one after- 
noon and said: “General, Mrs. Goose and I think 
you are the smartest man in Louisville, and that you 
are not only a splendid soldier but a very wise law- 
yer. I also want to say, General, that these town- 
bred, cellar-cared-for goslings are as well-behaved 
children as any we have ever seen. We want to 
thank you very much for taking them and saving 
their lives.” 


CHAPTER XVIII. 


DR. GANDER AND THE AUTOMOBILE. 

T^R. GANDER had for five years been accustomed 
to the step of my buggy horse. As this ani- 
mal weighed twelve hundred and fifty pounds, and 
his feet were large and his tread heavy, the sound of 
his coming could be heard half a mile away. The 
hearing of geese is very acute, and the Doctor often 
waited listening for the sound of “John Horse’s” 
tramp. 

He did not need anybody to tell him when his 
friend was on the way. He knew it better than his 
human masters. He even knew that half a pint of 
shelled corn would almost certainly be the reward of 
his vigil. He refused to eat this if thrown on the 
ground and would only accept it when held in my 
hand. If my hand was closed he would pull at my 
coat or pants indicating that he wanted his rights 
respected. If a few grains fell out and were picked 
up by the ducks and chickens, it was all right with 
the Doctor, but if one of these happened to grow a 
little bold and tried to get the corn in my hand, he 
at once resented the intrusion and the offender was 


( 132 ) 


DR, GANDUK OF YOUNGLAND. 


133 


sure to lose a feather or two and be quickly driven 
away from the feast. 

If the cow or Johnnie Dixie the pony came up 
to nibble at the corn the Doctor would stand aside, 
but he did so honking a protest loud enough to be 
heard half a mile away. It was the same strident 
note he used in talking to his friends, the wild geese, 
who on their journey North and South often passed 
over the place he lived. The Doctor always greeted 
these traveling goose friends of his. He would turn 
his head half round, look at the sky in a wise and 
kindly way, and honk like the wild geese. These 
cries of the Doctor’s seemed to please the wanderers. 
Their leader would answer back and then swinging 
around in a circle and looking down at the Doctor 
would call and call to him. 

They seemed to be asking him to come and go 
away with them. They recalled the wild goose the 
neighborhood had reared as a pet. Its wing had been 
injured when very young so that it could not fly. It 
was tied with a string and kept in a pen. When it 
was about a year old and grown to full size a flock 
of wild geese flew over where it was imprisoned. 

They looked down and saw it in the pen. Circling 
around his prison they pleaded with him to rise in 
the air and fly away with his fellows. 


134 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


The captive bird flapped his wings and answered 
back these calls of his new-found friends, but the 
string at first held him down to the earth. Finally, 
though, with a last mighty effort he snapped in 
twain the thing that kept him captive. He felt the 
power of his wings, and with wild notes of joy rose 
higher and higher until he found his fellows in the 
air. Then, taking his place in the line, he sailed away 
with them to enjoy the delights of the far South, 
where wild geese spend their winters close to the 
sun. 

These wild birds thought the Doctor was of their 
kind, but he had no desire to go away. The tender 
bluegrass and the shelled corn in his Kentucky home 
were enough for him. He preferred to stay where no 
hunters would cross his path and where he ran no 
risk of being shot down as he traveled through the 
air. 

The wild geese wasted their time in pleading with 
the Doctor. 

He saw some of them crying for him as I drove 
up in my new automobile. He looked at his friends 
high in the air and asked me if I was going to fly 
away with these birds. 

‘'Ah, no. Doctor,” I replied, “I am just getting a 
vehicle that will carry me faster and bring me out in 
ten minutes instead of thirty. You know that in the 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


135 


winter time when I live in the city you complain be- 
cause I skip some afternoons and do not pay you a 
visit. I think with this machine I can run out every 
day, talk with you and give you some yellow corn.” 

“General,” the Doctor said, “I don’t like this 
buzzing, fussy wagon of yours. Those bright lights 
dazzle my eyes and they will awaken me and my 
family when you come into the barnyard. John 
Horse never cuts any such capers as that. He goes 
down to the water trough, gets his drink, maybe rolls 
in the dirt, but he doesn’t squawk like that machine, 
and he doesn’t go running along the road like a steam 
engine. A horse could not run as fast as that ugly 
machine was going when you came down the road. 
I can hear John’s tramp. I can count about the time 
he will get to the gate; but this big black wagon of 
yours that don’t seem to have anything to pull it 
fairly sails over the ground. Some day I fear it will 
run off the road and I am afraid it will hurt you. 

“If anything should happen to you. General, I 
don’t know what we would do. Mrs. Goose and I 
were talking the matter over the other day. It made 
us sad to think about it. Last year when you went 
away to the hospital and stayed so long we heard the 
people talking about you. We were afraid you would 
not come back any more. They said you were ver}' 
sick and we began to wonder where we would go and 


136 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


what would become of us if you never came to see us 
again. We had seen the neighbor across the way, 
when he had a sale, scatter his horses, pigs, chickens, 
dogs and ducks all over the county. We feared if 
they sold us Mrs. Goose and I might be separated, 
and she sent to one place and I to another, and maybe 
all these children of ours packed into a coop and 
hauled to the city and sold to strangers to be killed. 
It made us sick at heart. General, as we thought our 
happy home might be broken up and we might never 
see you or one another any more. 

“We wondered where Bumps the dog would find 
a home, and who would get little Johnnie Dixie the 
pony and that pretty little buggy he pulls. We like the 
black mallard duck and we did not want her to leave 
the place. And even the big Wyandotte rooster, 
whom we have gotten to like, we feared would be sold 
and killed. 

“We all took it much to heart and we hoped that 
this family would not be broken up. 

“General, you are taking chances. Your pets out 
here don’t like that machine you ride in. We want 
to ask you to take to driving John Horse again. 

“We heard John lamenting his fate to Johnnie 
Dixie and Lillian, your beautiful saddle mare, and the 
two plough horses. John said he was much cut up 
by your giving him up for a machine. He told the 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


137 


other horses that he was glad and proud to pull you 
wherever you wanted to go. He said he didn’t mind 
the cold weather or the rainy spells or the hot sum- 
mer days. He said he would go faster if you would 
only tell him so, and that he would quit getting scared 
at the motorcycles on the boulevard if you thought 
that was the proper thing to do. And when Bumps, 
the dog, heard about it he howled and cried, and the 
cow she shook her head and said it would be very, 
very bad. The Wyandotte rooster said maybe he 
had worried you by crowing every night at 12 o’clock 
and again at daybreak, and that if you objected he 
would never crow again at night time. The hens, 
the ducks, the chickens and the pet pigs, all said, 
‘Don’t let the General risk losing his life and having 
us all sold and scattered to many different homes.’ ” 
“My dear Doctor,” said I, “it would be pretty hard 
for you all if, some day, they came out and told you 
the General was dead. You and Mrs. Goose are pro- 
vided for. Johnnie Dixie the pony has the promise 
of a good home. There is a farmer friend of mine 
whose wife dislikes horses, and he has agreed to take 
Johnnie Dixie and keep him as long as he lives. He 
promised me, upon the word of a Kentucky gentle- 
man, that Johnnie should do nothing but haul his 
wife once a day to the postoffice, which is only a 
mile away. The black duck, Doctor, must not be 


138 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


forgotten. A gentleman said he would take her with 
you and Mrs. Goose. He told me he would never 
leave you and your family and Blackie Duck out on 
the pond and that he would bring you up every night 
and put you in the yard. 

“Princess will go to my brother on his farm in 
Central Kentucky. But what will become of little 
Bumps worries me a great deal. I have a little girl 
friend who tries to take him away with her in the 
electric every time she comes out, and Bumps gets up 
in the machine and sits in her lap. He doesn’t like it 
a bit when we take him out. The other day I took 
the little rascal to town with me and he was the most 
delighted dog you ever saw. When we got to the 
office he appeared delighted with the elevator and 
didn’t want to leave it. I had to pick him up by the 
nape of the neck and carry him out into the hall, and 
in the office he ran around to speak to everybody 
and put his nose into every corner of the establish- 
ment. He barked and asked me for a drink of water. 
We did not have a bowl or cup for him to drink out 
of and so I let the water run into my hands for him. 
Bumps loves to eat marshmallows. I sent out and 
bought him half a dozen. He ate them every one up, 
but a very funny thing happened. The candy stuck 
in his teeth and he had much difficulty in getting it 
out. He then wanted more water and I had to give 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


139 


him another drink. He crawled under my desk, lay 
down and went to sleep just like a little boy. In 
about two hours he awakened and told me he wanted 
to go home. Shaking my head and pointing my 
finger at him I said : ‘Mr. Bumps, you will have to stay 
here until I get through my business.’ This did not 
suit him at all. He looked up into my face and kept 
on barking as much as to say, ‘General, I am very 
homesick; please let me get back to the farm, where 
I can see Dr. Gander, Johnnie Dixie and my other 
friends.’ 

“I told him I would punish him if he did not keep 
quiet. Then, Doctor, the little fellow stood up on 
his hind legs and patted the air with his fore feet. 
He begged to go home, looking at me so pitifully, 
Doctor, that I did not have the heart to keep him 
away any longer. I telephoned the chauffeur to 
come in at once and take him back. In about fifteen 
minutes the man came. Bumps rushed over and 
licked his hands and feet, then ran to the door several 
times. In the hall he barked at the elevator man, 
and when he got to the street he ran and jumped 
into the machine, where he kept on barking as if to 
tell the driver to hurry back home. I told him that 
it would be a long time before he got down in town 
with me again. His answer was to bark and growl 
at me as he rode away. 


140 


DR. GANDER OP YOUN GLAND. 


“I could nev^r get him to come down with me to 
the office any more. He seemed to know, I suppose, 
by the parcels I carry, where I was going, and he 
would not get in. If we got into the machine with- 
out bundles and started out for a ride he was wild 
to go. Doctor, that was pretty clever for a dog, 
wasn’t it?” 

“General,” the Doctor said, “why don’t you take 
me for a ride in your machine some time? I’ll sit 
up on the seat beside you. I won’t fly off or out. 
We’ll have a real good time.” 

“If you want to go it will be all right with me. 
Doctor. You must not get scared when we pass 
through the town and when you see coops full of 
geese that are being sold or killed. You know, I sup- 
pose, how they fatten geese for market? They put 
them in small pens or coops, catch them half a dozen 
times a day, hold their mouths open and push corn 
down their throats until they can’t hold any more. 
When they get fat and their livers get very large 
they kill them. Some people think goose liver a m'ost 
delicious dish. 

“If you want to go riding. Doctor, it will be all 
right. The people who see me going to town with a 
great big goose on the seat beside me will say: ‘Oh, 
yes, the General has gotten tired of his gander friend 
and he is taking him to market.’ I would not like 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


141 


this, Doctor, but if you want the ride, just wash your- 
self oflf at the water trough and pick your feathers 
out smooth, and Fll let you go with me.” 

After thinking over this an hour the Doctor re- 
turned and said: “General, if it is all the same to you 
ril not take the drive into the city. I’ll stay out here 
with my family and my friends on the farm.” 

“That is a pretty wise way to look at it,” I re- 
plied. “However, if you want to have a drive. I’ll 
do this: Suppose we hitch up John Horse to the 
wagon, and you. Bumps, the Black Duck, the Spotted 
Cat and Princess the Collie, all get in and take a 
drive around the place. If you are very much pleased 
we can then try the automobile drive. I’ll speak 
to John Horse about it.” 

So one day we all got into the wagon. Bumps 
wanted to sit by me, but the Doctor said: “No, I am 
the General’s dearest friend, and I must be on the 
seat with him.” To quiet the trouble I said that 
Bumps had already had a machine ride, so I would put 
him in the back seat and let the manager’s daughter 
go. Bumps and the spotted cat could sit with her, 
and Dr. Gander with me on the front seat. 

We started off as jolly a crowd as one might 
wish to see. The Collie and Bumps barked all the 
way. Dr. Gander chattered to me. He was afraid 


142 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


he might fall out and so he sat very still. We went 
out on the road for only a short distance to get to 
the back of the farm, but we passed some children 
on the road who laughed and hallooed at us. Some 
of them wanted to throw clods and sticks at the 
wagon and those in it, but I said, “No, if you throw 
anything at us I’ll have you every one arrested.” 

We all had a jolly ride. Everybody said it was 
great, and when we came home they all said the 
wagon beat the automobile, and that I must sell the 
machine, keep “John,” and we must take at least one 
ride every week. 


CHAPTER XIX. 

DR. GANDER AND THE CANARY BIRD. 

T HAD not seen Dr. Gander for a week. When I 

drove in he was standing under the big tree in the 
yard, evidently expecting a visit from me. The after- 
noon was dark and a drizzling rain was falling. The 
Doctor flapped his wings when he saw me approach- 
ing and gave the usual cry of welcome. He seemed 
particularly glad that I had come, and I was sure he 
wanted to tell me something. 

“Doctor,” I began, “what has happened since I 
left? You look worried; come tell me what’s on your 
mind.” 

“Ah, General,” said he, “it is not about myself that 
I am wanting to talk — it’s about that canary bird of 
yours. 

“I have had a very high opinion of canary birds 
until this week, but I am changing my mind. I don’t 
think they are half as good-hearted and decent as we 
geese. 

“Last Monday while we were out in the yard I 
saw Mammy, the colored woman, bring out in her 
hand two dead canary babies and down in the garden 
by the fence she dug the smallest grave I ever saw. 

( 143 ) 


144 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


She wrapped these baby birds in a piece of brown 
paper, put them in the grave, covered them with 
soil, patted the ground with her foot and then stuck 
a piece of cedar bough over the grave. 

“Mammy seemed so sad that I could not help 
asking her what killed the babies. She didn’t seem 
to care to talk to me, but I followed her and pulled 
her apron. She turned around and said, ‘Doctor, 
what is the matter with you? Why are you nipping 
my apron?’ 

“ ‘Why, Mammy, I want to know what killed the 
baby birds you put into the small grave in the 
garden.’ 

“ ‘Doctor,’ she said, ‘it is a sad story, but I’ll tell 
it to you if you have time to listen.’ 

“ ‘Go on. Mammy,’ I said, ‘all of us have had as 
much grass as we can eat and I am ready to listen as 
long as you will talk.’ 

“ ‘About a year ago,’ Mammy said, ‘when I had 
four canary babies in a cage their mother died.’ 

“‘When the mother died the father bird seemed 
very sorry. As I took her body out of the nest he 
fought me and tried to snatch her out of my hand. I 
watched to see if the father bird would feed the babies. 
I discovered he would not. I decided that I would help 
him out. So I chewed some food and put a piece on 
a knitting needle. Then I scraped on the nest. The 






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babies thought one of their parents had come back to 
feed them, so they stretched out their necks and 
opened their mouths. I put the needle with food on 
to the mouth of a baby bird and he quickly swallowed 
the food. Then I, fed the three other baby birds in 
the same way and they all went to sleep. In a few 
days they got their eyes open and when they saw 
me coming they would stretch out their necks, open 
their mouths and eat all I would give them. They 
grew fast and soon had feathers. In a little while 
they were big canary birds. 

“ ‘You see that father bird up in the nest there? 

“ ‘He is one of the babies I raised with the knitting 
needle. He has a mate now — that dark-colored lady 
bird you see in the cage with him. They are the par- 
ents of two babies, the ones you see in the small cage. 
These two little fellows grew rapidly and Mr. Bird 
treated them very kindly. After a short time he and 
his wife made them get out of the nest and sit on the 
perch. After a couple of weeks they would not feed 
them any more; so they soon learned to fly down on 
the bottom of the cage and get their own food. 

“ ‘Then, Doctor, I put in a new nest and mammy 
bird laid four of the pretty speckled blue eggs. They 
were about the size of a little marble. When she 
laid the first one she began sitting on the nest — that’s 


146 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


why one bird hatches out every day until all the eggs 
are hatched. They never come out all the same day, 
like chickens, ducks or geese. 

“ ‘When the babies were three weeks old and had 
gotten yellow feathers all over them, what did the 
daddy bird do but pull two of them out of the nest 
and kill them. He was the same bird I had fed with 
a knitting needle, and I was enraged to see him do so 
wicked a thing. I had been a mother to him and I 
wanted him to be a good bird. I reached in and tak- 
ing him by the neck hauled him out and put him in 
another cage. 

“ ‘He sings every day for hours to his mate. He 
wants to get back in the cage where she is, but. Doc- 
tor, I am not going to let him return for a long time. 
I want to punish him for his cruel conduct. Tm not 
sure ril ever let him go back. I’d be afraid to trust 
him again. Maybe I’ll find another mate for the bird 
mother, one that won’t kill the children. 

“ ‘It made me very sad to have these baby birds 
killed, especially a little brown one who was the 
image of its grandmother. Generally, Doctor, 
canaries are yellow, but the grandmother of these 
baby birds was a dark brown in color. She was an 
ideal mother.’ 

“After hearing Mammy’s story,” said Doctor 
Gander, “I said: ‘Mammy, geese never kill their 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


147 


young and they never kill other birds’ young. Hens 
kill other hens’ chickens, ducks kill other ducks’ 
ducklings, but we geese will take any goose’s gos- 
lings and are glad to get them. If you know of any 
goslings around this neighborhood that have no 
mother and father, won’t you please get them for me 
and Mrs. Anna Goose? We’ve got seven children, but 
we wouldn’t care if it was seventeen.’ ” 

Later the Doctor walked down to the grave of the 
canary bird babies and afterwards he came to rne 
and said, “General, you are a lawyer; don’t you think 
we had better try that daddy bird for killing those 
innocent babies? We can get a jury from the geese, 
ducks, chickens, guineas, dogs and pigs. I would 
like to prosecute the bird that did so cruel a thing. 
We ought to hang him like that jaybird that got 
entangled with a horse hair. He’s too mean to live.” 

“Doctor,” said I, “you talk it over with your barn- 
yard friends. I’ll tell them to keep the father bird 
in jail and under no state of case let him out until 
you are ready to report. Then we’ll see what can be 
done to punish him. I agree with you that on this 
place, where we treat everybody the best we know 
how, we do not want anyone who kills his own chil- 
dren.” 


CHAPTER XX. 


THE TRIAL OF MR. CANARY BIRD. 

OOME weeks had passed since the killing of the 
^ canary bird babies by their father. I had 
promised that the murderer should not be released 
until Dr. Gander and his friends in the yard had been 
advised and had time to decide what punishment 
should be meted out to the prisoner. 

As I came out on the porch one morning on my 
way to the patch to get some watermelons for the 
barnyard breakfast, the Doctor placed himself across 
the path to the garden. I knew at once that some- 
thing was on his mind and that he wanted to talk to 
me. Cheerily I said, “Doctor, I hope you had a nice, 
quiet night and I beg to bid you good morning.” 

The Doctor acknowledged the greeting, bowed 
his neck gracefully and still stood in the path. 

“My good friend,” I asked, “what is troubling 
you today? If you have any grievances, let us know 
what they are.” 

“General,” he explained, “we barnyard people 
have been talking over the case of Mr. Canary and 
have decided to give him a trial very soon now.” 

“Mr. Canary Bird is still in jail. Doctor,” I said, 

( 148 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


149 


“and as he is a bird, it is but right that his bird and 
animal fellow citizens should say what should be done 
with him. He is in your hands, Dr. Gander, and if 
you call a jury you can decide what his fate shall be. 
I suppose,” I suggested, “that you will be the Judge. 
You seem to be a leader amongst all these bird, 
pig, pony and dog folk.” 

“I’ll be the Judge,” answered Dr. Gander. “Mr. 
Wyandotte Rooster is a good deal of a bully when I 
am not around, and I think he would be the right sort 
of a prosecutor. 

“I talked the matter over with Mr. Canary Bird. 
He said they had no right to try him; that the little 
birds were his own children and that he could do 
what he pleased with them. ‘Geese, ducks, dogs, 
guineas, pigs and ponies have no right to say what I 
shall do in my own cage,’ he protested. ‘I do not go 
outside the house, nor do I associate with the barnyard 
folk. However, if I am to be tried I want Johnny 
Dixie, the pony, for my lawyer.’ ” 

Then I informed the Doctor that whatever the 
verdict was I must review it. “The Governor of Ken- 
tucky,” I explained, “has the right to pardon people 
who are convicted of crime, and he can commute 
sentences. As I am the owner of Youngland, after 
you all get through with the trial it must be left 
to me to say if judgment shall be enforced.” 


150 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


After that I informed Dr. Gander what should be 
done. 

“The first thing,” I said, “is to get a jury. This 
is always summoned by the Sheriff. Who will you, 
as Judge, appoint Sheriff?” The Doctor said he 
thought Bumps would be the right person for Sheriff, 
as he could bark and keep away from the trial people 
that the barnyard did not want to attend. 

I said: “Doctor, get your jury for tomorrow morn- 
ing at half past six, and Til be on hand here at the 
back porch.” 

At the appointed hour I heard a great quacking, 
chirping, barking and clattering at the back, and, 
walking out, discovered Doctor and the entire barn- 
yard. Judge Gander stood on the cistern platfrom 
and Mr. Sheriff called the jury. First came Mrs. 
Black Duck, then Mrs. Wyandotte Hen, who had 
nursed the five ducks and one chicken, then two of 
the young guineas, then Princess the Collie. Mrs. 
Anna Goose was called, but Judge Gander said if he 
was to preside he preferred that Mrs. Goose be 
excused. The young spotted cat was called in place 
of Mrs. Goose. The Sheriff, Bumps, called Mrs. 
Black Sow out, but neither the Wyandotte Rooster 
nor Johnnie Dixie, the lawyer, wanted the black sow. 
So the young chicken that was reared with the ducks 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


151 


was called, and finally two young ducks, the Jersey 
cow and Captain Sparrow. 

The Judge did not fancy Mr. Wyandotte Rooster 
very much, and he looked quite sternly at him and 
said: “Mr. Rooster, what have you to say about this 
case?” The Rooster looked quite as stern as the 
Judge and said: “May it please the Court, I am ready 
to proceed.” 

Turning to Mr. Johnnie Dixie, the Judge said: 
“Mr. Dixie, are you ready?” 

Mr. Dixie nodded his head, saying, “Mr. Canary 
Bird is satisfied with the jury; we are ready to go to 
trial.” 

Judge Gander said to Mr. Canary Bird and his 
lawyer, Johnnie Dixie: “What does Mr. Canary Bird 
say as to whether he is guilty or innocent?” 

Mr. Johnnie Dixie answered: “Mr. Canary Bird 
pleads ‘not guilty.’ ” 

“Call the witness,” said Judge Gander, and 
Bumps, the Sheriff, barked until Mammy came put 
on the porch. 

“Mammy,” said Judge Gander, “what do you 
know about Mr. Canary Bird killinsf his two babies?” 

“Jedge,” said Mammy, “Ah raised Mr. Canary 
Bird on a knitting needle by feeding food ah had 
chewed up foh him. Ah won’t answeh.” 


152 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


“But, Mammy,” the Judge said sternly, “you 
must tell. This Court commands you to relate all you 
may know.” 

“Jedge,” answered Mammy, “ah have great re- 
spect for you and all these othah people heah, but ah 
will not tell anything about Mr. Canary Bird that will 
get him into any trouble. One night, Mr. Jedge, the 
Yank soldiers followed mah young Rebel mastah into 
mah mothah’s house and they said ah must tell them 
if the boy ah had been a mammy to was hid in the 
cabin. The boy was down in the cellar, close up under 
the rafters, and ah said the young man was not there. 
They said they had tracked him home, and if ah did 
not tell where he wuz they would shoot me. 

“Jedge, ah told them to shoot on. Ah said the sol- 
dier boy was not there, but it was an awful story. 
Ah had played with that soldier boy when we 
wuz childens and mah mammy was his niggah 
mammy, and said, too, the young mastah was not 
there. Mr. Jedge, me and mah mammy would have 
died in our tracks before we would have given up our 
young mastah. They said they would hang us if 
we all did not tell where he wuz, but we said they 
could hang us if they wanted to, but we knowed noth- 
in’ and couldn’t tell nothin’. Jedge Gander, we stood 
them soldiahs off and they did not find the young 
mastah, and, when they went away, we let the boy 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


153 


out through the back window and he got back to his 
own people all right. Do you think, Mistah Doctor 
Jedge Gander, that ah am going to tell on that poor 
little canary bird sittin’ there in the cage lookin’ so 
skeered?” And she said, “No, sah! No, sah!” with 
her eyes flashing. 

“But, Mammy,” said the Judge, “if he killed his 
children he ought to be punished and you ought to 
tell all you know about this cruel act. You buried the 
canary babies, and these people here, this jury of 
barnyard folks, want to know if this father bird killed 
those two innocent little children of his.” 

“Mistah Jedge, ah can’t help what you all say 
about it, ah ain’t gonna tell on mah canary bird that 
ah raised on a knittin’ needle, and, Mistah Jedge, ah 
bid you and your jury and them lawyers good 
mawnin’.” 

This was a poser for the Judge and jury. They 
had expected easy sailing through Mammy’s evi- 
dence, and they were now at sea. Judge Gander looked 
much disgusted, and he asked all present if they 
knew anything of how the babies were killed. All 
said they knew nothing themselves about the matter. 

The Wyandotte Rooster looked much crestfallen 
at the course events had taken. He had expected to 
make a big speech and to roundly abuse the daddy 
bird for the crime with which he was charged. 


154 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


Mr. Johnnie Dixie, he wagged his head and 
seemed to grin; anyhow, he reached down and took 
a bite of grass and, turning to the rooster, he asked: 
^^r. Rooster, have you any other witnesses?’’ 

The big Wyandotte whispered around but could 
get nothing more, and then Mr. Johnnie Dixie said: 
“Judge, there’s no evidence against Mr. Canary Bird. 
I move that this jury be discharged and that the 
prisoner be carried back into the house in his cage; 
furthermore, that he be let out of jail and be put back 
in the cage with Mrs. Canary Bird.” 

The turn of events was not at all pleasing to the 
Judge, the jury and the crowd that had come to the 
trial. Judge Gander appealed to me saying: “Gen- 
eral, this is a predicament — what must we do? Can’t 
you make Mammy tell what she knows?” 

“Judge Gander,” I answered, “I’ve great respect 
for the law. I suspect you all would like to kill Mr. 
Canary Bird, but you cannot do it under the law. I 
am the Confederate boy that was hid in Mammy’s 
mother’s cellar when the Union soldiers threatened 
to hang and shoot Mammy and her mother if they 
did not tell where I was. I suspect you had better let 
the jury go. I’ll give Mr. Canary Bird a good lecture 
and tell him that he came very close to being hanged 
for killing his babies and that hereafter he must be a 
kind father and good bird.” 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


155 


This seemed to satisfy all who were present. I 
lectured Mr. Canary Bird pretty severely and they 
went off in a good humor. I called to the cook to 
bring out some food for the poultry, and to give 
Johnnie Dixie a bunch of hay, the Jersey cow some 
bran. Bumps and Princess each a piece of liver, and 
the cat a Saucer of milk. Then the meeting broke up. 
As the jury and audience scattered and went down 
through the yard I heard Johnnie Dixie say to Dr. 
Gander: “Judge, I don’t know as much as you do, 
because you are two years older than I am, but it 
looks to me as if the General advised Mammy how 
to get Mr. Canary Bird out of a bad scrape, and be- 
tween them they fooled the court, the lawyers and the 
jury.” 


CHAPTER XXL 

DR. GANDER’S BARNYARD CONVENTION. 

PVERY morning we had'been bringing over from 
^ tbe watermelon patch a dozen small water- 
melons for our barnyard pets. With tbe exception 
of tbe cats, all these partners of mine were voracious 
eaters of watermelons and canteloupes. They would 
follow me over the patch, quacking and begging to 
have the luscious red watermelons cut open. When 
they had eaten, the ducks would rush in and gobble 
up the seeds. 

The Doctor and his family liked the pulp, while 
the chickens and guineas pecked at the rinds. The 
black duck was a greedy seed eater, and would fill 
up her craw so she could hardly walk. The other 
ducks would drink the juice and suck the water like 
they were in a mud puddle. 

Dr. Gander and his family would fight all the 
others away until they were full. We had to stand 
by and see that the ducks and chickens had a fair 
show. Mrs. Goose was very severe with the ducks 
and chickens. If any of them came up to a newly- 
opened melon she would rush at them, and before 
they could get out of the way would grab them by 
( 156 ) 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


157 


the wings or catch them by the backs of their necks, 
and not only pull them around, but would give them 
a good shaking. After awhile the geese would get 
all they wanted, then they would go off a little way 
and sit down and peck at the young bluegrass. As 
soon as the geese got away the ducks and chickens 
would rush in and devour what the geese had left. 

These friends of mine grew so fond of the melons 
that as soon as the day broke they would gather 
around the back door and call for me and the colored 
man to come out and go and get their melons. 

Just after breakfast one October morning I heard 
a great clatter at the back porch. The geese, under 
Dr. Gander’s lead, were honking; the ducks, under 
the black duck, were quacking; the chickens, with 
the mother that had reared two chickens and six 
ducks, were clucking; the guineas were potter-rack- 
ing, and the young gray tom-cat and four kittens 
were all facing the front steps. 

I waited some time to see if my pets really 
wished to call me. The cries got louder and louder, 
and the chorus, led by Dr. Gander, became oppres- 
sive. The noise was so great that it was disturbing 
the whole family. They insisted that I should go 
out and quell the disturbers. 

Opening the back door, I stepped out to the 


158 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


front and, lifting my hat, said, “Good morning, my 
dear pets, how are ‘you all’ this beautiful day?” 

Dr. Gander was standing in front of the crowd. 
It looked to me as if he proposed to be the spokes- 
man. The Doctor seemed slow in speaking, and I said, 
“If I can do anything for you I’ll be glad to serve 
you.” 

When I appeared at the door. Dr. Gander im- 
mediately addressed me. “General,” he said “We 
cannot understand why you no longer serve us melons 
for our morning meal. In behalf of my family and 
my other barnyard friends, I want to protest and to 
petition you to restore the melons to us.” 

Lifting my hat to my audience, I said: “My dear 
friends, I am much distressed to hear of your worry 
and hunger. You will remember that for two months 
every morning I fed you a dozen watermelons and 
now and then threw in a few canteloupes for good 
count. However, you have lived in Kentucky all 
your lives; You should know that in Kentucky the 
season for watermelons begins the first week in Au- 
gust and ends the first week in October. I would 
give you anything I had, but my watermelons are 
gone, and if I gave you all the watermelons you 
could eat it would cost me five dollars a day. As 
much as I love you, I can’t afford that outlay for 
watermelons to feed you a luxury. 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNG LAND. 


159 


“ril tell you what I’ll do, though. IVe a field full 
of pumpkins, and some of them are so big a man can’t 
carry them. I’ll send the man down with a wagon to 
haul up a load of pumpkins, cut them open and let you 
eat all you want. We humans eat stewed pumpkin 
and pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie and think it 
delicious. You ought to like it, too.” 

Dr. Gander gave a loud call and all the conven- 
tion joined in with him. He said, “That’s the very 
thing to do; and he called out for his friends, “Gen- 
eral, when shall we get the pumpkins?” 

“Right now. Doctor; right now. There’s no use 
in waiting.” 

I called the man as loudly as I could and said, 
“Go down into the field and bring up two dozen 
pumpkins for my friends here. Be sure you do it 
very quickly.” The man already had the horse har- 
nessed and, as it trotted off to the field all the con- 
vention gave a loud cheer. The cheer had hardly 
died out before the pumpkins arrived. I took a great 
corn knife and cut four big fifty-pound pumpkins 
open and divided each into six pieces. 

“Eat all you want, my friends,” I said, addressing 
the barnyard pets. 

The pumpkin seed were nearly three times as big 
as the watermelon seed, many times as big as cante- 
loupe seed. The black duck, the greatest seed eater 


160 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


of all the crowd, tried the pumpkin seed, but every- 
one noticed that she did not swallow many. Then 
the young goose “Big Sis” nibbled at them, and all 
the ducks came up to test them, but none seemed to 
enjoy them very much. At last the Wyandotte 
rooster pecked at them, and he walked away. Others 
pecked at the inside of the pumpkin, but none of 
them apparently relished it. The chickens came up 
and they sampled the rind, but it was too hard; they 
all went away and began to eat grass. 

My friends plainly were disappointed. They had 
expected something as good as watermelon or cante- 
loupe, and they looked at me most reproachfully. 

I was much grieved. Never had I willingly dis- 
appointed these trusting friends. They always came 
when I called them, and never did I deceive them. 

Dr. Gander seemed much disgruntled. He did 
not wish to lose his position as the leader of the con- 
vention and the spokesman for his barnyard com- 
panions, and yet he did not want to say anything 
unkind about me. 

Observing the Doctor’s mood, I thought I would 
relieve him; so I pulled off my hat and, bowing to 
him and his associates, I said: 

“It is easy to see. Doctor, that you and your com- 
rades are much disappointed about this pumpkin 
breakfast, and to tell the truth, so am I. The pump- 


DR. GANDER OF YOU N GLAND. 


161 


kins are not yet soft enough. They are never good 
until a half-dozen frosts fall on them; so far we have 
had only two. When four more have come I shall 
let you try them. Until then I ask your patience. 

“There are two bushels of tomatoes in the cellar. 
There is wheat and rye in the crib, we have stored 
away a pile of apples, and you all know that there are 
barrels of yellow corn. You shall not go without a 
good breakfast. Call your convention to order. Doc- 
tor, and take a vote as to what the treat shall be.” 

The Doctor called the gathering to order and ex- 
plained what had been said. All tried to talk at once. 
The duck quacked for rye, the chickens clucked for 
yellow corn, and the guineas potter-racked for bread. 
Everybody was talking at once and louder than the 
other. It looked as if a riot was about to take place. 

Waving my hand, I said, “Doctor, stop this 
racket or you will have a dozen fights on your hands. 
You geese go over to one side, the ducks to the other, 
the chickens over to the left and the guineas to the 
right, and I’ll call the cook and each crowd shall have 
what it wants.” 

This restored order at once. The Doctor seemed 
much relieved, and he separated his followers as 
directed. The cook appeared on the scene with four 


162 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


pans in a basket and divided out to each squad what 
it had called for. Peace reigned, and all set to work 
to gobble up what the cook had provided. Every 
minute some one squad would rush away to the water 
tub. We all knew that all our visitors drink four or 
five times when they eat a full meal. Everybody 
seemed happy, everybody was full, and I bade the 
convention good morning and told the Doctor I 
would see him and his friends later in the day. 


CHAPTER XXIL 


LITTLE TED’S DEATH AND BURIAL. 

HEN the leaves had fallen, the flowers 
withered and the frost had destroyed the 
beauty and glory of the garden and the yard, I drove 
out on Thanksgiving afternoon to have a talk with 
Dr. Gander. I wished to listen to his story of what 
had happened since we had left all our dear friends at 
the farm and gone back to our city home to await 
the coming of the springtime and the new life it 
would impart to the grass, the shrubs and the trees. 

The Doctor had given up his watching under the 
big tree. He had waited many afternoons for the 
light of the automobile lamps and the rumbling of 
the machine to gladden his heart. He had settled 
down to his disappointment and gone farther back in 
the yard by the barn gate, where he lingered until 
the manager was ready to let him into the lot to 
get a drink of fresh water and eat his supper of yel- 
low corn. 

The Doctor had seen the big turkey gobbler dis- 
appear; he had heard the flapping of his wings when 
the Farm Manager caught him by his feet and pull- 
ing him off the roost put him in the chicken house. 

( 163 ) 


164 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


He had also watched the manager, when at daybreak 
the next morning he caught the gobbler and held 
his head on a block while the hired man took an axe 
and cut off his head. The gobbler’s death alarmed 
the Doctor and his family. The big rooster and the 
hens and the black duck and her duck friends had 
gone to the other side of the barn and did not see 
what happened to Mr. Gobbler. They saw that the 
gobbler never came back any more and they won- 
dered what had finally become of him. The Doctor 
was afraid that the cruel man who had cut off the 
turkey’s head might come some day to catch some of 
his children and do them the same way. He told the 
rooster and the ducks to be careful where they slept. 

He ordered Mrs. Anna Goose and the family to 
go every night under the corn crib and not to come 
out until after it was light. He was not afraid for 
himself. He well knew I would not let anybody hurt 
him. He had lived sixteen years and nobody had 
ever caught him or tried to cut his head off. While 
I was around he was very sure about himself, but he 
did not want to see his friends get caught and killed. 

Down at the pond one day he had met some 
geese from a neighbor’s place. They looked like 
skeletons. All their feathers had been pulled out to 
make pillows, feather beds or cushions. They told 
him how the mistress on the other farm had caught 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


165 


them, held their legs, wings and feet and then pulled 
all their feathers out of their breasts and sides. They 
told the Doctor how badly it hurt them. She had 
jerked all the plumage off their bodies. And they 
said she was a cruel woman. 

“Ah,” said the Doctor to them, “you ought to 
come and live with the General. I would like to see 
any woman, or man either, for that matter, catch me 
and pull my feathers out where my good master, the 
General, is. He would raise a racket, you can bet 
your life, and he would punish any person who tried 
that game on me. I heard the manager’s wife say 
one day to the General that I had very beautiful 
feathers and she would like to pick me and put my 
feathers in a pillow for a sick lady.” 

“ ‘Not on your life,’ the General answered. T 
would about as soon you would undertake to pull the 
hair out of my head as to treat my dear friend, Dr. 
Gander, in that rude and painful way. If you want 
feathers so much as all that, you can go and buy 
them from the feather man, but not while I live can 
you impose on Dr. Gander.’ 

“I told my friends from the neighbor’s that they 
had better come and live with us over at Youngland. 
About that time the lady who owned the geese came 
with a big stick and drove them away and she never 
let them come to our pond any more.” 


166 


DR, GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


The turkey killing seemed to have made the Doc- 
tor very sad. It was easy enough to see that he was 
deeply troubled and wanted to talk to me about it. 
I listened to his story and when he finished I said to 
him: “Doctor, don’t you be alarmed. While I live 
no man shall lay his hands on you, and when I go 
away on the long journey, I’ve arranged that a farmer 
friend of mine shall come and get you and keep you 
as long as you live. I expect, Doctor,” said I, “that 
you will outlive me, and so I picked out a young 
farmer and he will outlive you, even if you do get to 
be forty years old. I gave the man a beautiful young 
calf to get his promise to care for you. Some day. 
Doctor, it will come to you that the ‘General has 
fallen,’ but you can be easy about this : I’ve arranged 
it all right for you.” 

“But, General,” the Doctor said, “you look sad 
yourself. Has anything happened to you?” 

“Yes, Doctor,” I said, “I’ve something very, very 
sad to tell you, and I am much distressed to bring 
bad news to you and my other farm pets. Dear little 
Ted died this morning, and I am deeply grieved that 
he will never come out to see you all any more. I 
suppose, Doctor, that you observed that little Ted 
did not seem very well this summer. A week ago I 
asked him if he would like to go out to the farm with 
me. Barking he ran out and got on the running 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


167 


board of the machine and begged me to take him in. 
You saw him out here that day. He got out of the 
machine, but he did not run over the yard like he used 
to. Before we left, and some time before we were 
ready to drive back, he came and lay down on the 
porch near the machine. He looked as if he wanted 
to get back home as soon as possible. 

“The next day. Doctor, he took worse. He went 
out under the steps on the back porch and moaned 
as if in great pain. He always came downstairs in 
the morning before I did. He slept in a room next 
to the linen closet where he had his bed and quilt to 
cover him. At the bottom of the steps Ted was al- 
ways waiting for me. He barked and ran around the 
hall and into the dining room and study — he liked to 
have me chase him around the tables and chairs — 
and we had a big romp. I missed him when I came 
down this morning and I went out to see what was 
the matter with him. He looked at me appealingly 
as if to tell me he was very sick and was suffering 
and wanted me to help him. I tell you. Doctor, it 
cut me to the quick to see the little fellow in such 
pain. I patted him on the head telling him how 
sorry I was. I said to him, ‘Ted, Til do the best I 
can for you. I’ll run upstairs as quickly as I can go, 
and I’ll tell the Doctor to come out in a great hurry; 
maybe he can do something for you. So, Doctor, I 


168 


DR. GANDER OF YOUN GLAND. 


rushed upstairs and calling the veterinary told him 
to come quickly, that Ted was very sick. He said 
he would come as soon as he could eat his breakfast. 
I told him, ‘Please don’t wait for breakfast, but come 
right away.’ Then I went back downstairs and told 
Ted the Doctor would be out in a few minutes, but 
the poor little fellow looked up into my face with his 
beautiful black eyes seeming to say, ‘General, I am 
afraid it is too late!’ He got up, but it was clear that 
he was in great pain. He followed me into the 
kitchen. I had the chauffeur put some shavings in a 
box to arrange Ted a cozy bed down near the furnace. 
Then I brought Ted’s quilt and put it over him. 

“I went back into the study, and while I was read- 
ing the paper Ted rushed in where I was sitting. He 
was barking so piteously that it cut deep into my 
heart. He came to my side and put his feet up on 
my chair for me to pat his head. I said to him, ‘Dear 
doggie, I would help you if I could.’ I rubbed his 
side and put my hand on his head. His pain nearly 
made him beside himself. He rushed into the hall 
and into the kitchen and down the back steps. Just 
then the bell rang and I hurried to the door. The 
Doctor had arrived. ‘Come quickly, oh, come quick- 
ly, Doctor,’ I said, ‘and see if you can help my dog 
friend.’ As I closed the door and started back the 
houseman came running and said, ‘General, poor lit" 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


169 


tie Ted is dead.’ I hastened the Doctor to where he 
lay as quickly as possible. When we reached the 
back door Little Ted was lying on the grass, face 
down, with his hind and fore legs stretched out. He 
looked just like he used to in the summer days when 
he would lie down by me on the grass in the yard to 
take a nap while I watched the people go by. 

“The veterinarian hastened to his side: he felt 
Ted’s heart and looked up into my face. He said, 
‘General, your little friend is dead.’ 

“I tell you. Dr. Gander, I loved that dog and he 
loved me. It made me very sad to know that he was 
gone. 

“Later I told the chauffeur to go get a box and 
put Ted in it and carry him out to the farm, where 
he and I had passed so many happy hours together, 
to dig a grave under the big apple tree in the corner 
of the yard near the flower garden. I told him to 
tell you. Doctor, and your family, Bumps, the ducks 
and the Collie Princess and all the people on the 
place. I could not attend myself, for I had been 
called out of town, but I left word to see that Ted 
was laid away properly. 

“I told the chauffeur to get out the little coat that 
we used to put on him when it was very cold, wrap 
him up in a nice blanket and put a mound over his 
grave.” 


170 


DR. GANDER OF YOUNGLAND. 


^‘Well, General, I want to tell you that when the 
man came out,” said Dr. Gander, “we knew some- 
thing was wrong. The people called us, saying, 
‘Come on, come on,’ and we all followed the folks 
over to the big apple tree. We knew the way every- 
one acted something unusual had happened, and so 
we did not ask for any corn or wheat or bread. We 
just stood around by the apple tree and the colored 
men dug the little grave and putting Ted in his box 
down in it and filled in the earth. We all went away 
very sorry about Ted. 

“Are you sure, General, he will never come back 
any more?” 

“Yes, Doctor,” I replied, “Little Ted will never 
come back any more.” 

“The fact is, General, Ted was the best behaved 
dog I ever saw. Nobody ever siaid a mean word 
about the little fellow. Bumps and Princess some- 
times bark at us or chase our goslings, but Ted 
never did.” 

“Dr. Gander,” said I, “you are right. Ted was 
the kindest, gentlest and best-mannered dog I ever 
saw. I’ve told the man to get a cedar board, put 
it in the ground over Ted’s head, put concrete around 
the bottom of the board and have painted on it: 

“ ‘THIS IS TED’S GRAVE. HE WAS THE BEST 
DOG WE EVER KNEW.’ ” 




















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